Denim Skirts and Hockey Sticks

Douchebag #2 of the day...

2012-01-24T20:39:00.004-05:00

And the award goes to ... *drum roll*

In case you can't tell, the man behind the glasses and girls and ridiculous head accessories is Alexander Ovechkin.

He was suspended yesterday for 3 games for this hit on Zbynek Michalek (see video below).

We at DSHS applogize for Pierre McGuire's voice being in this video.

I have not watched the Shanahan explanation video but I assume it gives something similar to this explanation:

1/2 game for hitting Michalek's head
1/2 game for leaving his feet
2 games for being a complete idiot

After being suspended, Ovie decided to pull himself out of the NHL Allstar game this weekend. This is a game for the fans, and Ovie always puts on a show for the fans. Remember this?

I am inclined to believe that Ovie skipped the Allstar game because he didn't want to be sitting all by himself at the draft with Phil Kessel taking photos of him on his phone.

Perhaps the people angry at Ovie, myself included, should be more angry at the NHL for even including him in the Allstar game in the first place. What has he done this year? Besides be benched and get his coach fired. Oh an make many people angry with him, but what else is new.

To make up for having to listen to Pierre, we have included a bonus video with our post today. Enjoy.

Tim Thomas is a selfish DOUCHEBAG

2012-01-24T20:05:00.002-05:00

....Oh yeah and the 2010-11 Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins went to the White House.

You have probably heard more about a someone *cough*Tim Thomas*cough* not visiting the White House than the people who actually did visit, which was the rest of the team.

You sir, Tim Thomas, were the MVP of the playoffs! You are probably the reason why the Bruins won!! They could not have done it without you!!! Good thing a trip to the White House doesn't require anyone to stop pucks. Well I guess they still have Tuukka Rask, who by the way is playing tonight in Washington. Good call Boston, good call.

Also, it has been noted by many others that Thomas was the only American on that team. *Insert Gary Bettman comment about how the NHL has to sell the game to Americans.*
Sure, you going to the White House probably wouldn't have brought in any new American fans but come on, it's a huge part of YOUR country's history!!

Too bad Thomas wasn't around during the war of 1812, he could have helped the British attempt to burn it down, maybe even use his flying poke check to knock out the supporting walls.

I a little bit of me hopes that Thomas never wins another cup and never has the chance to visit the White House again.

On a more awesome note, the 2nd biggest story out of the White House. Tomas Kaberle's attire.

Nice pinstripes man...

Side note: What happens when a Canadian team wins the Stanley Cup? Stop laughing, it might happen one day .. maybe....

What Game(s)? (Game Recap 6, 7 and 8)

2011-03-04T14:34:00.000-05:00

Game 6:
Stars vs. Canadiens
7-2 Stars
Slip n' Slide promised us a game recap, but he's a horrible person and didn't come through. So, who knows, apparently we won 7-2, Goalie's cousin showed up and rocked a hatty.
Where did he come from?
Who knows.
Will we ever see him ourselves?
Who knows.
Did this game actually happen?
Who knows.

Game 7:
Stars vs Devils
Some score where the Devils win
Dangles tried to get rid of one of her thumbs
Legame?! takes a stick (we think) to the forearm
Highight of the game: Legame?! trips a guy good. If we were doing a full recap she would be Goon of the Game.

Game 8:
Stars vs. Kings
3-0 Kings
Waste of a game.
We couldn't buy a goal if our lives depended on it.

Our Top ten Favourite Tampa Bay Lightning Things

2011-02-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

In anticipation of our awesome trip to Tampa Bay to see a Lightning-Wings game we have compiled ten of our favourite Lightning things.

Also I just looked up how to spell "Lightning" because for some reason I became unsure if there was/should be an "e" in the middle.

So in a slightly organized list, here goes:

You can go to a hockey game in a jersey... and short shorts.

We tried finding a picture for this... and decided it was more a user friendly type activity... google at your own risk.

Actually, we realized that we had a "Jersey and Short Shorts" party and it was a great success...

The mascot is evil

Most teams play soccer to warm-up. Sometimes the Lightning play basketball. We found it amusing.

Head coach Guy Boucher looks like Lechiffre from Casion Royale...

Insert Kp's photoshop here...

Ryan Malone used to play for the Penguins, then he left his hometown cause he's a greedy bastard. Luckily, it led to this fun video:

Martin St. Louis is one of our favourite players, mostly because of this video of shootout failure

Bringing a little bit of home to the NHL, you can't deny that Steven Stamkos is good, and he's from Markham... Ps Unionville sucks

Stevie Y, enough said

Simon Gagne, kp's favourite player

Dominic Moore, everyone's favourite player

And why shouldn't he be? If you're reading this and don't know why, you don't belong here

Easily one of the best plays ever, leave it up to Blake to not finish.

...

Insert "That's what she said" comment above

We're going to TAMPA!!!!

suck it.

How come they got fancy jerseys? (Game Recap 5)

2011-02-13T16:40:00.001-05:00

Steelers? Really, they couldn't come up with a fun hockey related name, and had to use the name of a NFL team? *Sees jerseys* Hamilton Steelers... Ooooh, that makes more sense...Wait wtf? "Hamilton?" who stole these jersey and brought them to North York?:

Stars vs Steelers

Game Recap:

We've never played this team before, not interesting but we thought we'd mention it
Whatshisname scores a nice one mid-way through the first, 1-0
Steelers come right back and score a quick on, shortest lead ever, 1-1
Job, job, job
Convo on the Bench:

"Are those socks orange or red?"

"They're orange."

"Are you sure, look at them now, they definitely look red now"

"Hmmmm."

"They look like the colour of Humpty Dumpty Ketchup Chips"

Warrior Chad scores, whooooo, 2-1
These guys seem pretty aggressive for no good reason, lamesauce
Damnit, bad guys score, let's blame Ketchup Chips Socks for this one, 2-2
"Let's get it back!" - Paraphernalia
Damnit x2, bad guys score again, 3-2
Excellent hip check by Paraphernalia, apparently the guy hit him on the boards right before... No one remembers seeing that except him, and the ref apparently. They both go off.
Nothing else remotely exciting happened.
Final Score: a big piss off, 3-2

Other notes:

We're starting to think we should lose like half the players just so we can get more ice time, three full lines this game.

Dangles played defence again... Sorry Dangles rocked defence again. She might have also deserved a tripping penalty, but refs seemed to have looked the other way.

3 Stars:

Chad, two games two goals, can we say points streak? Hope we didn't jinx it now...
Anthony, making some sweet plays along the boards, and blocking shots
Goalie, played a good game and plus, he's cute

Healthy Scratches:

Jimmy, tiny human most likely the cause

Goon of the game:

Paraphernalia, hip check was beautiful

Hockey Related Link of the Week:

You know, if you have a spare 17 minutes, and want to get angry...

New Word:

Mathemagically,

As in "the Leafs can still mathemagically make the playoffs"

See you in Tampa!

2011-02-07T22:19:00.001-05:00

I hate this team. I always feel we have a chance to beat these guys, and they always crush the dream. It helps that they have a couple guys with mad "wheels."

Yah that was lame...

Stars vs Wheels

Game Recap:

The bad guys score a lot, we really don't like guys rocking red helmets
Legame?! Is playing centre this game, faceoff central!
Dangles plays defence... Just like Bates! (There are two ways to play hockey: the Bates Battaglia way, and the wrong way. Yes we are well aware Bates doesn't ACTUALLY play defence, jeez)
Paraphernalia probably scored, 3-1
Dangles makes their best player look silly, taking the puck off him mid-dangle, he shows his respect by taking her feet out and helping her into the boards
Power play is crap...they get a shorty, 4-2
D Clint tries to introduce a new rule: legal hand passes, refs didn't get the memo...either time he tried it
Warrior Chad makes us remember why we missed him, goal, 4-2
Whatshisname had a sweet goal, from an excellent pass from Dangles, roofed it from the faceoff circle with 5 seconds left in the second, 5-3
F Clint gets us almost back in the game, 6-4
2 minutes left and 2 goals to go...
Final Score: Stars: 4 - Wheels: 6

Other notes:

Huge bench on the Stars, waaaay too many players, someone should get sick or something

Robin is back, huge bonus, he's a great offensive player

No need for the Amber Alert either, Warrior Chad finally remembers he plays hockey...annnd lets us see the new Warrior stick. It is so ridiculously light, it is scary. Legame?! likes it until Warrior Chad lets us know that it's the stick Zetterberg is using now. Stick is no longer cool.

3 Stars:

Dangles, for being Bates and de-dangling the other team's offence
Whatshisname, epic goal, we keep telling ya, these guys are getting good
Legame?!, face-off circle domination...kinda, well definitely stopped their guys a lot more than normal

Healthy Scratches:

New Guy

Goon of the game:

The good red helmet guy on the other team, that was a dirty, dirty slew foot on Dangles

Hockey Related Link of the Week:

Because of Warrior Chad's return, we feel no shame in checking out Warrior's site.

We'd link right to the hockey section, but then you'd be forced to see Zetterberg's mug first thing, and we felt everyone deserved a warning about that... A warning we didn't get mind you.

Bonus Prize:

Because Legame?! was told she had no "swagger" over the weekend by an eight year old.

Yes her ego is severely bruised.

'Til next time goons and gals

WRAP AROUND! (Game Recap 3)

2011-02-01T10:10:00.003-05:00

Looking back this was a good game, but immediately after it just hurt a lot

Stars vs Blues

Legame?!'s helmet threatens to fall apart
A whole bunch of people scored, in no particular order: Gretzky, Paraphernalia, F Clint, New Guy, and The Menace
F Clint's goal was a WRAP-AROUND!!!!!!!!ZOMG!!1111!!!111111!!!
New Guy's goal also had epic qualities, as after scoring, he tripped over the goalie and started flying. As he was flying he took out the net and landed ungracefully near the boards
Legame?! Hits the boards somehow, then takes a stick to tummy next shift, ouch
Some weird penalties, one unsportsmanlike for an offside call for the Blues, note to Dangles: don't bang your stick after something bad happens, and one to D Clint for "tripping"
Goalie let in one decent goal, and one he really shouldn't have
Game, 5-2

Other notes:

Two refs this time, still no time keeper, we just can't shake the feeling that we are getting cheated somewhere around here. Made the penalty time a little more flexible however, but that works both ways.

3 Stars:

F Clint, c'mon: WRAP AROUND!
New Guy, spectacular "goal celebration"
Tank, another solid game

Goon of the Game:

Ummm, nothing very goon-like happened, sorry to disappoint everyone

Healthy Scratches:

Jimmy, we hope

Chad, might be Amber Alert time, or maybe he's pulled a Nabokov and has refused to report

Un-Healthy Scratches:

Slip n' Slide, apparently he got the swine again

Hockey Related Link of the Week:

and if you want to watch it in French here's the link: Sportchek Commercial French

All-Star Fantasy Draft

2011-01-28T17:58:00.001-05:00

In lieu of the All Star Draft happening tonight, it seems like every blog out there and their cousins and their cousin's dogs have done their own all star fantasy draft.

Given that, we've given into blog pressure (similar to peer pressure, but we have no friends so it's blog pressure), and we have done our own draft.

It's a little last minute, but maybe we'll come up with a point system to see how well our teams did, or maybe not. Don't count on it, is what we're saying.

We've given you a round by round play-by-play, with amusing tidbits from our conversation during the draft.

Enjoy!

KP picked Team Lidstom, and therefore received St. Louis and Kane as part of the package deal

Because of that KC gets Eric Staal, Green, and Kesler and first pick

Round 1:

KC: Stamkos

KP: I could be a douche...Fleury?

KC: jerkwadcentral

KP: Just kidding, Toews

KC: Not Ovi?

KP: He sucks

KC: Are we picking him last?

KP: Maybe. By that I mean yes

KC: Damn that means I get Kessel

Round 2:

KC: Which one is the better Sedin? I pick him.

KP: Henrik won MVP last year

KC: BTW, I wrote "the better Sedin" down on my roster

KP: I'm taking Daniel

KC: I hope he's the suckier one, or you just wasted a pick

Round 3:

KC: Letang

KP: Ward...Cam

Round 4:

KC: MAF

KP: Burns

Round 5:

KC: Price

KP: Lunqvist

Round 6:

KC: Thomas

KP: Weber

Round 7:

KC: Boyle

KP: Damn, I wanted to have "Team Sexy"

KP: Yandle

KC: Yandle candle

Round 8:

KC: Nash

KP: Giroux

Round 9:

KC: Chara

KP: Hiller

Round 10 (heads up, this round was full of fail):

KC: Weber

KP: I took him already

KC: So?

KP: Right.

KC: Sharing?

KP: No sharing, try again

KC: Yeah, good call, sharing is for the weak

KC: Keith

KP: Ummm, Green

KC: Can't he's one of my A's

KP: Who is the other D that wears an A?

*here the conversation gets confusing, and even now we don't know what happened, but we eventually got it sorted out...

KP: M. Staal

KC: F you, I wanted a matching set

KP: Now we can trade Staal for Sedin

KC: No way

Round 11:

KC: Karlsson

KP: Perry

KC: I hate

KP: You hate Perry?!

KC: No, you

Round 12:

KC: Kopitar

KP: Buff, as in Dustin

Round 13:

KC: Richards, Brad

KP: P Sharp

Round 14:

KC: Havlat

KP: Duchene

KC: Stop reading my mind!!!!

Round 15 (KC might have tried to draft one of KP's players again, but let's not get into that):

KC: Backes

KP: Skinner

Round 16:

KC: Stastny

KP: Breezy Briere

KC: I picture him wearing a kilt now

Round 17:

KC: Elias, for my fantasy team, thought they should represent

KP: Eriksson

KC: Figured

Round 18:

KC: Kessel!

KP: Ovie!

Game On!

Well That Was a Write-Off (Game Recap 2)

2011-01-27T22:32:00.002-05:00

Sunday night game, the end result was pretty forgettable, but why let me ruin all the fun:

Stars vs Lucky Pucks

Game Recap:

Dangles misses the warm-up beacause she was watching the end of the Steelers-Jets game (the good guys won says Legame?! Dangles disagrees)
Legame?! Gets run over by F Clint
New new guy, Purple helmet, turns out to be not as good and more lazy
Paraphernalia scores, yay, 1-0
Pretty much right off the face off after the first goal the Lucky Pucks score, boo, 1-1
Job job job
Paraphernalia makes worst play of the month, "passes" the puck through his own crease, which deflects off of Tank, and right to a Luck Puck who roofs it. Goalie had no chance. 2-1 for the bad guys
Dangles demands two more goals from Paraphernalia to make up from his epic fail moment
Job job job
Game ends, Lucky Pucks 2, Stars 1

Other notes:

One ref and no timekeeper, good thing nothing very exciting happened

I really want a brawl to happen, would make my life

3 Stars:

Tank, very solid game

Anthony, looks like he picked up mad skillz over the break, he is also in need of a nick name

Whatshisname, made some very smart plays

All our newbies are really starting to get it, makes our maternal instincts proud

Healthy Scratches:

D Clint, was going to be late, but just never showed up

Jimmy, we hope he was home with the tiny human

Unhealthy Scrathes:

Slip n' Slide, out with the flu

Goon of the game:

F Clint, for taking out his teammate

Hockey Related Link of the Week:

Second Hockey Related Link of the Week:

Because I feel this might trump the first, and emptynetters said this might have just won the internet:

http://fuldans.se/?v=gfbjmldqud

Greatest. Thing. Ever.

2011-01-24T22:44:00.002-05:00

No really, just watch and be amazed.

This wonderful invention is going to be put to the test at the next Flyers home game. Thanks to Broad Street Hockey for the explanation on how it works, unless you want to continue to believe it's magic which is totally cool with me.

More Goalie Antics and some All Star Game Change Propositions

2011-01-24T18:09:00.001-05:00

Justin Pogge, what did the Leafs do to your poor feeble mind?

the Score also had a sweet read on what the All Star Break should really include, you can read about it here

I'm starting to take bets on how many of our stars are going to bail on the festivities and who their replacements are going to be. Any takers?
I say if more of these guys get injured, Dom's a shoe-in.

New Goalie Helmet Regulations

2011-01-23T00:51:00.003-05:00

This just announced by the NHL, all goaltenders doing interviews after a game must wear a football helmet. Marc-Andre Fleury the first to test this new rule.

I do appreciate when professional athletes support other teams in their city but I am sorry to say Mr. Fleury that the tradition will not carry on. J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!!

The Girls go to Hockey [Game Recap 1)

2011-01-23T00:12:00.001-05:00

For some reason we feel you really really need to know what happened at our hockey games. But in telling everyone about it, we hope to make it entertaining:

Stars vs Ice Gators

Game Recap:

Dangles decides to block a shot with the unpadded part of her arm
Ice Gators score before anyone noticed...probably cause we were too busy watching Dangles come off the ice
Gretzky scores
New Guy scores
F Clint scores making it 3-1 for the good guys
An Ice Gator trips on blue line, takes out Legame?! Hip bone takes brunt of impact off either the ice or Gator who fell...only the hockeygods know
Paraphernalia is hit, Dangles and Legame?! vow to get the guy back
Paraphernalia points out that he might have possibly tripped the guy earlier and probably deserved it
Vows revoked
Gators cause 39485729348 offsides
The Menace, Dangles and Legame?! have unreal shift, no goal... Legame?! needs to keep working on lifting the puck
Big win, final score 3-1 Stars
Goalie is proud of us

3 Stars:

Goalie, for the usual awesomeness
Supastar, for blocking shots and not Goalie's view
New Guy, GWG

Goon Watch:

Paraphernalia

And finally the last component to a successful game story is some sort of hockey related entertainment:

I love the original, and this version just warms my heart a little.

Peace out and keep your waffles ready.

Twitter

2010-07-28T21:27:00.000-04:00

How twitter keeps me going during the harsh months. These guys are the players I follow, let me know your favourites, so there's more to entertain me!

Cammalleri: this guy is about as legit as you can get. Very business, and bilingual, faaaannncy.

Komisarek: I like this guy, not so much his twitter, but its summer and he is occasionally entertaining

Rupp: he's a big brother fan. And that kind of business goes a long way around here.

To possibly look forward to: a post on how to react to a goal being scored

How to watch hockey

2010-07-14T22:17:00.004-04:00

Since we are in the long, dry, despairingly long stretch of hockey-less-ness, the number of odd internet searches has increased dramatically:

That peak in august is that desolate strip of time in between free-agent frenzy, development camp (which is barely interesting at all, but by this point we are already clinging to any actual hockey) and training camp and the pre-season hype.

So somehow I ended up searching for "knitting and hockey", which I'm not going to lie, didn't look too promising at first. Then I came across this list "How to watch a hockey game". Now the list makes some great suggestions, like number 6: Beer. (You really can't argue with that one...unless you are at the ACC in which case you are more than welcome to forgo the beer, because the prices are so ridiculous). But I thought I would redo the list and make some adjustments.

How to Watch a Hockey Game

1) If you don’t know where the puck is, don’t reveal this to anybody, you should know where the puck is. Also, if you don’t know where the puck is you are American, and probably produce FOX sports.

2) Every time your team scores express your gratitude. How you do this depends on you and the state of the game. For example you can do the stand up and spill everything on and around you with arms in the air, the appreciative clap, or the fist pump. All of these can be accompanied by some sort of vocal noise, shouts and cheers for instance. If watching the game with friends, the high five, or double high five are also good choices.

3) Every time the other team scores, complain about that one guy that always messes up, and blame it on him. If it is a playoff game, speculate out loud how it might not be a legal goal.

4) Beer. Repeat as necessary.

5) Intermissions are for washroom breaks, snack replenishment and beer fridge restocking.

6) Fights are awesome. After the fight, you may debate who won it, the answer is always the guy on your team.

7) Feel free to heckle, but make sure you can defend yourself in case someone near you doesn’t like your opinions.

8) Also, you are morally obliged to point out any smoke-shows visible during the game.

9) Support your team no matter what, if you are unsure on how to do this, ask a Leaf fan, they’ve been supporting a losing team for decades.

And because a couple of girls write this blog, here's the Ladies' version. Not saying this is necessarily how we watch hockey, but there's no saying this isn't. And you aren't likely to find out anytime soon, lack of an on-going hockey season not-withstanding.

How to Watch a Hockey Game with the Girls

1) 1) If you don’t know where the puck is, bring up your opinion of the new jerseys.

2) 2) Every time your team scores, the degree of celebration should depend on how good-looking the player that scored it was. Confess your love for said player.

Belanger stole my sweater once... in a dream.

3) 3) Every time the opposing team scores complain how ugly the player is, even if he is drool worthy. Remember he is the enemy. A gorgeous hunk of an enemy...

4) 4) Try to only take washroom breaks during intermissions, tv time outs, long delays, and when you really can’t hold it anymore, or when playing the New Jersey Devils.

5) 5) Beer. Or cooler, or wine or something even fruitier. Repeat as necessary.

6) 6) Fights look rather painful, and they never seem to lose as much padding as would be visibly appealing. Better use the time to run to the little girls room!

7) 7) Feel free to rate the players' looks whenever there is a close up of someone.

8) 8) Make sure that all your friends know when the good looking ones are on screen,

9) 9) Support the best looking players, and whatever team they’re on.

It's been a while...

2010-05-01T21:51:00.016-04:00

I would like to formally blame our inconsistent posting on school. All the homework and studying really takes time away from blogging. Good news. School is over. Scary but good. More time to talk about all the wonderfulness of the..wait for it.....NHL STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS!!!!!

So I realize the 2nd round has already started but the NHL did not leave us enough time to think about all that went on in the 1st round. So just a few thoughts on each of the series.

Washington vs Montreal
Raise your hand if you picked Montreal to beat the Caps. 1 out of 17 people in our playoff pool picked Montreal and she is a biased crazy Habs fan, no offense. Halak was amazing and I found this fun video today, I know we are all tired of the "What if such and such did/didn't do this" commercials but you are probably gonna watch it anyways.

New Jersey vs Philadelphia
If you still thought Marty was as good as he was back when the Devils were winning cups, this series should have shown you that he is not. Everyone, even Marty, is human. (Tell that to NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson)

Buffalo vs Boston
Two words, power play. Buffalo, along with Washington do not understand the concept of having an advantage on the power play. Oh well, let's see if Rask can keep up his play.

Pittsburgh vs Ottawa
We really didn't learn anything from this series. It just proved what we already knew, Ottawa chokes in the playoffs. Enjoy the links boys.

San Jose vs Colorado
Who wants to guess how many goals the Sharks top line got in the 1st round. If you guessed 1 you would be correct. Also Dan Boyle had a game winning goal, on his own net (Nice one McCabe).

Chicago vs Nashville
Looked like Chicago was in trouble after losing game 1 because of iffy goaltending however 2 shutouts the rest of the series hopefully put those fears to rest.

Vancouver vs LA
It seems from most of the series (minus the game Raycroft finished) Luongo played very well. Perhaps we will be seing more of the Olympic gold medal winning goalie rather than the "I suck in the playoffs" goalie. Only time will tell.

Phoenix vs Detroit
Golly gosh gee, who wasn't cheering for the Coyotes to knock off the team viewed by most as the toughest 1st round opponent. It's too bad they didn't get further, but on the bright side they won't get used to having sellouts because that ain't gonna happen come October.

Perhaps tomorrow I will have some thoughts on the 2nd round of the series after all teams have play game 1.

In case you were wondering, yes we here at DSHS are experts. Thank you Andy Sutton.

GREEN MEN

2010-04-16T15:31:00.001-04:00

they make me so happy! this isn't wrong is it?

This Takes Talent

2010-02-22T13:10:00.001-05:00

Crappy quality...but what are you going to do about it.

I'm moving on past my bitter disappointment at the loss, by laughing at this every. time. I. see. it.

Go Finland

(who also lost last night...crap)

If I didn't hate the Red Wings I'd almost feel sorry for him...

2010-02-03T11:28:00.002-05:00

So KP can watch this over and over again

2009-11-18T19:11:00.002-05:00

Missing: Flyers HOCKEY Players

2009-10-14T11:15:00.011-04:00

Have you seen them?

The hard hitting,

the hard charging,

Flyers.

Recently there has been a little bit more of this ...

And a lot less of this ...

Few more recent developments from Philadelphia.

The Flyers scouting staff are keeping their eye on a new prospect.

Matthew Gagne is hoping to crack the Flyers roster in about 18 years.

There's a new Flyers girl in town...

Right there in the green teeshirt next to Richie. New love interest of Richie perhaps?

Oh wait...
It's just Scott Hartnell. Boy I wonder how long it took him to straighten that hair.

Here's to hoping the Flyers can start playing like they did in the first 2 games, full 60 minutes men, bring it.

Not hockey related, but still worth your time

2009-10-13T16:16:00.001-04:00

Possibly more than the usual rubbish we generally submit you guys to:

Why I have I never seen this before?

2009-10-01T10:41:00.001-04:00

When I have a bad day...

2009-09-15T13:01:00.002-04:00

I just remember that we're going to Pittsburgh, and everything gets a little brighter.

Goalies are funnies

2009-08-26T10:16:00.002-04:00

http://www.ctvolympics.ca/hockey/news/newsid=14644.html?cid=rsstsn

Yeah, come to think of it, I really don't want any of these guys on Team Canada

Pittsburgh's Goalies' Time with the Cup:

http://www.hhof.com/html/exSCJ09_13.shtml

Mathieu Garon is friends with Eric Belanger, therefore he's my new hero.

Rush post, my computer is getting wiped today, and needed to do something with these links that have been sitting on my browser before they got disappeared...

Since I've been slacking...

2009-08-20T23:57:00.005-04:00

Review of the Philadelphia offseason:

Added dirtiest player in theNHL as voted by the players themselves.
Added the flakiest player in the NHL and quite possibly a bigger douche than Sean Avery.
Added the goalie who holds the longest shutout streak (5+ games, somewhere around 336 mins)

That last one actually sounds like a good move. Yeah especially because when he played in his first stint with the Flyers he was wicked in his rookie season (as most Flyers drafted goalies are) and then sucked pretty much the rest of his career, minus those 5+ games.

So overall the Flyers did shit all in the offseason, should be a fun season. LET'S GET IT GOING!!!

One more reason to hate Detroit

2009-08-18T22:44:00.002-04:00

Bertuzzi back to the Red Wings

Really, I don't have to point out why I hate either do I?

Just because of the last post...

2009-08-12T18:10:00.005-04:00

Down Goes Brown Wins Again

"Encourage financial responsibility among star players by reminding them to insist on receiving their full change after cab rides"

Find the whole thing here, this was just a highlight, I did also enjoy the jabs at twitter and Nascar

Oh PKane

2009-08-11T23:09:00.002-04:00

Some notes about this picture I "found":

Those are not freckles, maybe it's acne, or swine flu (sorry I mean H1N1, don't want to offend any of those pigs that read the blog)
Do you think he dropped his mouth guard?
Gawd he's ugly, Gawd cleary you didn't give this guy any looks when you were handing out talent.
Unibrow could also be taken for sitches after taking a puck to the head, your call really.
Ear hairs? ew gross

I think the rest is pretty true to life, not that I've ever seen him, don't tell me if he looks different in the flesh.

Also don't tell KP, I think she likes this guy...

What a Beauty

2009-07-28T12:53:00.002-04:00

I'm not thinking that much though

2009-07-08T12:25:00.003-04:00

That's a little obvious Kris...

If this doesn't make you laugh it should at least make you giggle and at the very least smile because you know you're smarter than these two:

Kris Letang and Tyler Kennedy do the weather:

Part 2:

More to Come...eventually

2009-06-13T23:30:00.001-04:00

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Penguins in Seven

2009-06-11T20:12:00.004-04:00

You figure Crosby has to score eventually, 'eventually' has turned into 'tomorrow'.

Despite our lack of coverage of the playoffs, here is all I have the need to say:

Penguins in Seven.

Game Seven is tomorrow.
The 15th Game Seven for Lord Stanley ever. (We all knew this already, thank you unoriginal media)

Do it.

Bring it.

Believe.

Penguins in Seven.

We all knew it was true a long time ago.

On a completely unrelated note: Heatley wants to leave Ottawa.
Here it's described rather brilliantly by Five for Smiting. It's phrased so everyone in Ottawa can understand it, even the politicians...well that might be a bit of a stretch.

And in case you haven't heard yet, Emery is playing in Philly. Kp is absolutely thrilled about this. Nawt.
She also claims the Flyers aren't all goons...

Penguins in Seven

Hunky hunkness

2009-06-09T21:51:00.005-04:00

So this was going to be a list, complete with pictures of a whole bunch of Penguin players as well as others from around the league, that have pretty mugs on top of pretty bodies. But by the time I had finished my research, I wasn't feeling nearly as shallow, so I'm not gonna follow through on that.

Instead, I'm going to take a page from Four Habs Fans and their Sexy Fridays, and have one guy a week for us to ogle at, and for our male friends to complain about but be secretly jealous of.

So for the first time ever, here's our man of the week:

Yay for Marc-Andre Fleury. Yah, he'll always be my favourite

Do I really need to say why?

Also, while doing this research I found a couple solid posts/articles on Fleury, because he is awesome.

This one is from Puck Huffers - Why Marc-Andre Fleury Is A Man
Contains epic lines such as "When not banging his wicked hot girlfriend Véronique, Marc-André primarily spends his time being extremely French Canadian, extremely happy, and the number one enemy of polo shirts worldwide" Follow that by a picture of the man golfing and his polo shirt losing a battle with his forearms.

The second is an oldie, but full of stories from a Post-Gazette article
It's the big story they had after he was drafted.

Believe

Pens in Seven

BEST. IDEA. EVER.

2009-06-01T17:55:00.002-04:00

Enough said right?

To make up for slacking....

2009-05-15T14:15:00.003-04:00

I might have found the most amazing drinking game of all time

Staal Brothers Drinking Game

Name them correctly and get a prize!

The best part of that is their live blog.

I really appreciated the update at 8:29pm I never knew about the contracts some players have with the announcers. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

Whoops wrong set of brothers...

Thinking we might need to do our own live blog of the first game, Monday night anyone?

The two we're about to hear waaaaay too much of.

Let's go Pens.

Let's do this.

The NHL has no balls

2009-05-03T21:25:00.002-04:00

It only has pucks. Ha ha.

Moving on..

You may remember my post last playoffs Goal or No Goal. I have another addition to that so lets pick a case.

*drum roll*

You have picked...2009.

Round 2, Game 2, 1st seed Boston Bruins playing at home against the 6th seed Carolina Hurricanes. Very late in the period, less than 10 seconds to go and Dennis Siedenberg, just out of the penalty box, looks at the clock and takes a shot from the blue line which is saved by Tim Thomas with a big rebound which is shot back at the net by Chad LaRose. The puck seems to bounce along the goal line after hitting the crossbar then the post, with 0.2 seconds left on the clock the whistle goes. Video replay shows at one point there is white ice between the puck and the goal line and TSN "Personality" Pierre McGuire is adamant that it is a goal. Goal or no goal?

Goal. (Reasoning: if Pierre says so it's obviously right)

*drum roll*

Oh I'm sorry that is incorrect. The NHL issued a statement after the 2nd intermission that it was not a goal because it was called no goal on the ice and therefore there needed to be conclusive video evidence that it was in fact a goal, apparently there was not.

Or maybe it was because the Bruins was already down 2-0 in Boston and if the goal counted the fans would go crazy and flip cars and start burning shops down in the city, oh wait this is Boston not Montreal.

Whatever reason the NHL has for calling it the way they did, it's just more evidence that when it comes down to it the NHL is going to take the easy way out of any hard situation it gets put in.

It's Mo season once again

2009-04-13T17:19:00.005-04:00

And the Pens organization have gotten on the bagon hard.

See their Build-a-Beard set-up for their Beard-a-thon...remind anyone of Movember?

Respect

...And check out my own sweet mo, and be jealous.

I normally look like that...including the vines and pepper surrounding my face.

ps this picture gets better the longer you look at it.

All I can say is .. WOW

2009-04-01T20:46:00.003-04:00

Very impressive..not so much impressive as much as "Wow, I can't believe you just tried that and you pulled it off."

How long until we see someone try this in an NHL shootout..and FAIL.

And some more great moves by this kid.

K. Da. $

2009-03-23T17:11:00.004-04:00

Malkin deserves to be MVP. End of story.

I've long been a Malkin fan.

When asked "Crosby or Ovechkin?"
My answer is obviously Malkin.

I love what Crosby brings to hockey, and even his image is promoting the sport. But he's a little picture perfect.

And Ovechkin, he looks like a monkey, and honestly if any of us were to meet him if he wasn't super talented and famous, we'd call him a douchebag and have nothing to do with him.

So why Malkin?
I'm so glad you asked.

Crosby goes down, Malkin steps up, about the eqivalent number of steps as there are in the CN Tower (wiki says: 2579 to the SkyPod) and that's alot of stepping up to do.
Crosby comes back, Geno tells him how nice the view is from way up there, tells him to catch up
Malkin is not friends with Ovechkin. Sure, he helped the monkey kid during the All-Star challenge. It doesn't make them friends. Kovalchuck brought about the peace that weekend anyways.
He tries hard, all the time, what a champ
His attempt to learn English is super endearing (yes, I used the word "endearing"). Anyone whose text messages used to consist of combinations of K, $ and Da, has to be a winner. Also, watch, Malone captures Malkin for a bit of an interview.

Best looking member of the Penguins...or so he says himself, nothing wrong with a little confidence.
Carrot is his stalker (I could explain, link or otherwise explain this reference but I choose not to, tPB covered/instigated/finished that mess)
105 points so far this season. Try denying that.
Not only does he lead in points he leads in assists. And he cant be passing to Crosby all the time since that kid has <30>
He goes fishing with Gonchar
He's just awesome

So Malkin. MVP.

Geno is the man.

and Dupis is the ICEMAN:

Thanks again Yahoo

2009-03-15T15:56:00.004-04:00

So I read a note on Nabokov on March 12th, and decided to drop Niittymaki and pick up Brian Boucher who plays for a better team and should get wins. And then what happens, Nabokov plays on March 14th.Quickest two weeks of my life. Thanks Yahoo.

Suzie's Back!!

2009-03-13T17:03:00.001-04:00

If you have missed our dear friend Suzie the Shinny Slut and wished she would come back and share more tales from the shinny rink, today is your lucky day. If this is the first you are hearing of Suzie the Shinny Slut take a look back at her first 2 posts.Suzie is back from a little time off and she has quite a few stories for us. Enjoy!

Oh my gosh did I miss shinny and all the totally cute hockey boys. I've been sooo totally busy the past few weeks trying my hand at like being a puck bunny and all that I haven't had like any time to go play shinny. It was way cool but I'd much rather like play with the totally cute guys before I like go home with them.

Sooo this week at shinny, like the usual peeps were out, TRG and like a few of his friends. There was like this one guy and he totally had like wicked flow, not as good as the the flowy hair russian guy, he was like so dreamy. There were also like these 5 douchebags on the other team, they were like totally lame.

I like had this super sweet breakaway on TRG again. I cut across and like totally saw his five hole open up and tried to like put the puck through but lifted the puck like off the ice and hit his pads. I've always heard TRG totally like needs to keep his legs closed. *giggle*

I was like so on my game this week and I totally thought it was a good idea to try to like body check some guys. What better way to like get on top of them. So there was this one super dreamy guy, he's got some like wicked flow growing, and I like decided he would be a super guy to like take down. I had it like all planned out and it was gonna be like way cool. But like when I hit him, I was the one who was like on their ass. It was rough but like totally worth it.

Well now, those were some good stories and I know we all can't wait to hear more from Suzie, hopefully we won't have to wait as long for the next one.

MO!

2009-03-11T15:55:00.002-04:00

The Pens are on a mean streak *knock on wood*
I guess they remembered how to play hockey or something.
Weird

And we have found the Ian white of the Pens: Matt Cooke

Almost Live Trade Blog

2009-03-04T10:20:00.039-05:00

*OLD TRADES*
4:18 pm:
G-Kolzig(TB) and D-Heward and D-Rogers and 4th round draft-pick for D-Petiot(Tor)
4:17 pm:
F-Kotalik(Buf) for 2nd round draft-pick(Edm)
3:53 pm:
F-O'Sullivan(Car) for F-Cole(Edm)
3:51 pm:
F-O'Sullivan(LA) for F-Williams(Car)
3:43 pm:
F-Moen(Ana) and D-Huskins for F-Bonino(SJ) and G-Pielmeier and conditional draft-pick
3:37 pm:
F-Pahlsson(Ana) for D-Wisniewski(Chi)
3:36 pm:
D-McLaren(SJ) for 6th round draft-pick(Phi)
3:33 pm:
G-Lalande(Clb) for 4th round draft-pick(Cal)
3:29 pm:
D-Eminger(Fla) for D-Welch(TB) 3rd round draft-pick
3:08 pm:
F-Christensen(Atl) for F-O'Dell(Ana)
3:07 pm:
F-Dominic Moore(Tor) for 2nd round draft-pick(Buf)
2:58 pm:
D-Morris(Pho) for D-Kalinin(NYR) and F-Dawes and F-Prucha
2:47 pm:
F-Antropov(Tor) for 2nd round draft-pick(NYR) and a conditional pick
2:45 pm:
F-Carcillo(Pho) for F-Upshall(Phi) and 2nd round draft-pick
1:55 pm:
F-Guerin(NYI) for Conditional draft-pick(Pit)
1:53 pm:
Forsberg to announce retirement..again
1:24 pm:
F-Recci(TB) and 2010 2nd round draft-pick for D-Lashoff(Bos) and F-Karsums
12:37 pm:
F-Jokinen(Pho)and 3rd round draft-pick for F-Lombardi(Cal), F-Prust and 1st round draft-pick
12:33 pm:
F-Nokelainen(Bos) for F-Montador(Ana)
12:04 pm:
Tellqvist(Pho) for 4th round draft-pick(Buf)
11:49 am:
D-Wozniewski(StL) for D-Richmond(Pit)
11:40 am:
D-Leopold(Col) for D-Nycholat(Cal), D-Wilson, prospect and 2nd round draft-pick
11:35 am:
Vermette just wants to be loved.
9:55 am:
F-Vermette(Ott) for G-Leclaire(Col) and a 2nd round draft-pick
This happened literally after TSN said it would be a smart move, nice.

I'm bound by contract to get any trade news from TSN only

2009-03-03T08:44:00.016-05:00

**ALMOST LIVE TRADE UPDATES HERE!**

Starting after the first major trade.
Be sure to come by to get all your trade deadline news.

And while we wait for that first major deal...

I thought the trade deadline was supposed to be exciting. TSN sure is pretending its been rivoting so far.
I know all the action will happen tomorrow, but that's a long ways away, what are we to do right now?

Guess were Moore will go? (he's going somewhere, it IS the trade deadline...)
Check TSN for trade news (there is none)
Read brianburke twitter, and then bobgainey twitter, and then jasonblake twitter, then alexeikovalev twitter and then and then and then and then
Muse over starting own parody twitter...bates? belak? jagr?
fmylife.com
Check TSN again (still nothing)
Read hockey blogs again
Watch old youtube videos
Check TSN
Accidentally close browser, check TSN again
Cry out of boredom
Look at pictures of Scott Speed
Check TSN
Turn on tv...check TSN
TRADE! oh no not really
Jump off roof
Die
Check Tsn

Trade Season!!

2009-03-01T17:14:00.003-05:00

With the trade deadline just around the corner there are some very juicy rumours going around. Here are a few:

The Flyers, who may or may not need a solid goalie, are looking at sending by far their top prospect, James Van Riemsdyk (aka JVR), for a goalie. This would be acceptable for most Flyers fans if the goalie they were potentially getting back in return wasn't Kari Lehtonen. Yes that goalie from the miserable Atlanta Thrashers. If your going to get rid of JVR can you atleast get back a goalie that has done something mentionable please, that's all the Flyers fans ask for.

Since it seems like Chicago is going to make the playoffs this year, they are out looking for some depth to play behind their young guns, P. Kane and Capt'n Johnny T (mostly I just wanted to mention them by their nicknames) but they really are looking for a 3rd line center. Which team in the league has 4 3rd line centers and therefore wouldn't mind parting with one of them, well the Toronto Maple Leafs of course. A trade deadline wouldn't be complete without Dominic Moore being traded, so why not to the Blackhawks. No idea what the Leafs would get in return but really are the Leafs going anywhere anytime soon? I think not.

One more point I would like to make seeing as it's trade time in the NHL is this wonderful term, "future considerations." Someone recently asked me "what does future considerations mean?" I did some research and found this quote (not really but I like to pretend) "we may or may not give you someone else depending on how we feel and how this guy we just got from you performs." If I were a GM in the NHL I would totally try this deal;

Me: So we want (insert budding superstars name here) and if he makes it to the hall of fame we will give you a 4th round draft pick from the year he gets voted into the hall ok?
Other GM: Hmm. Give me a minute to think about this deal.
Me: How about I spice it up and give you a 7th round draft pick for next year upfront?
Other GM: Alright, this sounds like a deal I can win with. Deal.

Wouldn't that be great.

Now a quick update on our favourite budding Nascar hottie. Scott Speed won the pole for the Busch..er..Nationwide (lame) series race this weekend at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. He then proceeded to crash out in the race and finished 40th. Better luck next time.

For your viewing pleasure..not sure what he is thinking about.

They're not booing. They're saying "October through Juuuuuuuuuunnne"

2009-02-23T16:18:00.005-05:00

If you haven't gotten on this bagon yet, you're seriously slacking, it's really the only other thing we talk about now other than:

SCOTT SPEED

but yah, brianburke does twitter. No, he actually doesn't do twitter, it's a parody, but we're all semi-intelligent folks around here, we knew that. Really we don't need to say anything, Down Goes Brown covered it epically, go read. That is if your roommate didn't already read it to you while you were trying to eat lunch and enjoy your soaps

We have just come to the realization that Scott Speed should be on the Y&R with those amazingly good looks. Do it.

Habs players need better friends

2009-02-20T09:51:00.005-05:00

As if they needed anymore problems, a few of the Habs players have "allegedly" got caught up with the wrong people.

How wrong you might ask? Well according to a report on the Fan590, really wrong, like Hells Angels wrong. Pasquale Mangiola, was arrested by Montreal police and faces drug trafficing and illegal gun charges.

Break time for Scott Speed

And who ever could these players be? Take a guess, you won't get it. Andrei and Sergei Kostitsyn and Roman Hamrlik. Although he "allegedly" is only an aquantance of this guy, while the Kostitsyns have "allegedly" had several phone calls with the dude.

Where might all this "alleged" information come from you wonder. The trusty people over at La Presse. If you can read french here's the story. If you want a little information in a language you can read, here's the Gazette story.

ACTIVITIES

2009-02-17T22:41:00.002-05:00

"If I move my bed 5 inches to the right, I will have so much more space for activities!"

If the Pens don't kick it up they will be definitely looking for more space for their non-hockey related activities.

Really i had no reason to post anything, except I really wanted to share that line with everyone, then tried to cover it up with a reference to how much the Pens suck.

By the way, in case we are wondering, no I haven't given up on them, I'm merely temporarily experiencing what it is like to be a Leafs fan. Ooooh burn.

And so I'll leave you with two notes:
1)"if orgies are about one thing, its not rhythm but rather just brutally sexual behavior" -#8
and
2)SCOTT SPEED!

There is no hockey here

2009-02-15T21:30:00.006-05:00

We are in Florida.
We have been here for a couple days.
There is no sign of hockey here.
Hence the lack of posting.
Lame excuse, yes.
But at the moment if it doesn't guzzle gas,
Or chew up tires.
Or involve crazy red-neck fans,
We don't care right now.

On a side note:

Scott Speed ftw!
If Jagr drove in NASCAR, he'd be Scott Speed.

Scott Speed...no words can describe

If you can't watch all of that, it's ok, neither could we.

Hockey: Penguins fire head coach, dumb move. Some guy is in his place right now, I kinda hate life.

Oh wait, we're in Florida.

Life is good again.

But over in Russia...

2009-02-09T13:38:00.004-05:00

There is some very exciting news that has made its way over by telegraph from Russia. Ok maybe not telegraph but how cool would that be.

If you think back in your memory you may remember a very out there goaltender for the Ottawa Senators who couldn't be on time or drive properly and was just a general pain in the ass. Oh and he may or may not have been good at actually stopping pucks.

His name was Ray Emery (and I suppose it still is just now with a Russian accent) and he now plays in the KHL in Russia. And some recent events have come to the attention of James Duthie over at TSN and it's definitely worth reading his column.

This is the video of what happened over in Russia. Look at his name. EPIC!

Nothing to Report

2009-02-09T12:55:00.003-05:00

Nothing is exciting right now.

The internet seems more empty right now than usual.

However I do have something to share. PuckToons provides a shot at someone in the NHL in convenient cartoon form, posting does seem a little irregular, but none-the-less still entertaining.

Pens were on a winning streak, about a whole 2 games I think. Then they lost. Don't talk to me about it.

Gonchar said he's gonna be back sooner than expected. But then originally we thought he'd be back for the playoffs. Yah, those. Don't talk to me about that either.

WWGRD. calls Cookie monster a chicken shit, I hate to say it, but sounds like WWGRD is trying to make an excuse.

Insert humourous picture here.

Prof. Fischer is ahhhhhhh-mazing

2009-02-03T00:21:00.002-05:00

The following is an actual email our prof sent us regarding a design project.

Dear Matt and All,

With all the violence going on in hockey, I am not a fan of the game. On top of that, having been born on a different continent, I have difficulty spending time watching big men with lumber attacking each other.

However, if you find that hockey in general, and black tape in particular (rather than good 'ol electric tape), can make this course a success, man, I am all for it!

Yes, please, bring some tape to class, and show me how to use it, and I'm game. I may even play hockey some day...

Prof. Fischer

New Poll Up

2009-02-02T11:50:00.007-05:00

I don't care what you say, these are the best jerseys ever. And if you don't think so, you're wrong.

It must be noted that, both of us want us one of these, and it must come in sweater form, just like it should be.

P.s. I enjoyed Price's brown pads once again.

More Adventures of Suzie

2009-01-29T17:37:00.003-05:00

We welcome back Suzie another week, hope you enjoy this weeks adventure.

Take it away Suzie.

So like I didn't go to shinny on the usual day this week because I totally had to get up WAY too early the next day, so I like went on Tuesday. Tuesday shinny is like totally not cool at all. There was like a total lack of flowy hair, and I found it like completely depressing. TRG was there with a few of his totally awesome friends. And there was like some other stupid girls there and I was like 'omg, all the guys should be like looking at me because I'm the shinny slut.' But whatever they were like totally not as hot as me.

I had a few totally wicked breakaways on TRG and one I like got him sliding across the crease and totally would have scored but I didn't want to like make him look totally uncool or something. So there was like this other chance I had on TRG, I thought I was totally going to score but like out of nowhere came his glove, it was a totally gnarly save.

Thanks Suzie for that wonderful story, and we can't wait for the next one.

Who Looks Younger

2009-01-25T21:12:00.004-05:00

Option A: Mike Komisarek (don't you want to give him a hug?)
or
Option B: Paul Reid at about 15 years(our good friend over at DSBT)

ps Paul said he doesn't want any hugs...take that as you will.

"AllStar" Weekend

2009-01-22T16:05:00.009-05:00

"AllStar" Weekend is upon us again. For the players not selected for this weekends festivities in the beautiful city of Montreal, it's a nice break for them to go home, visit family and partake in other fun activities such as fishing.

Thank you Yahoo, that really affects my Fantasy Hockey team.

For those who have been lucky enough to be voted in for the starting lineup (every single player on the Montreal Canadiens) or who were chosen as reserves, they get to spend a weekend of fun including a Skills competition and something which may or may not be called hockey game.

Let's take a look at who was voted in.
For the East: Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Alexei Kovalev, Andrei Markov, Mike Komisarek and Carey Price.
For the West: Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Ryan Getzlaf, Brian Campbell, Scott Niedermayer and Jean-Sebastien Giguere.

Who might be missing from here if it was to be an actual Allstar game. How about league leader in goals at the time of voting and for most of the year, Jeff Carter or perhaps the leader now, Alex Ovechkin. And how about league leader in points among defensemen, Dan Boyle or the leader in goals among defensemen, Shea Weber. Still not done, how about the league leaders in wins, Miikka Kiprusoff and Evgeni Nabakov or the goalie with the best save percentage in the league, Tim Thomas. Clearly the fans don't agree with this. They just want to see their favourite players there whether they deserve to be there or not. I will give credit to Crosby, Malkin, Markov and Getzlaf for racking up enough points so far to actually be considered Allstars.

I'm not going to say don't let the fans vote because that would be wrong, it allows the NHL to get fans more involved in the Allstar weekend which is the whole idea behind it, is it not? But I do have a problem with allowing fans to vote as many times as they want. Make it so fans can vote once per day and then there won't be these pissing contests between cities *cough* Montreal and Pittsburgh *cough*.

Just a few notes about this pissing contest that went on, Sergei Gonchar, who has not played a game this season, and Ryan Whitney, who just recently started his season, almost beat out Markov and Komisarek for starting spots. And Marc-Andre Fleury was close to being the starting goalie even though he was injured during the time of voting. It wasn't just in Pittsburgh and Montreal, Chicago and Vancouver got in on it as well, Kane, Toews and Campbell were miles ahead in voting and Roberto Luongo almost made starting goaltender for the West team. Does this seem right to you? I think not.

Even if the NHL fixes the fan voting problem, they still have a long way to go to have a legitimate Allstar game. One quick way is to do away with this "atleast one player from every team must be at the Allstar game." Welcome Dustin Brown and your 33 points in 46 games to quite possibly your one and only "Allstar" game. And Mike Modano and Keith Tkachuk were once great players, just not Allstar caliber anymore. I would just like to note that while Tomas Kaberle is probably only there because he is the best player on a bad team, he like Rick Nash belong at the Allstar game.

My only other problem with the "Allstar game is the way the game is actually played, but it is played like almost all other Allstar games, no one wants to get hurt (like the recently traded John Tavares, although he didn't miss too many games) so the game is not played to the highest level it could be by all these "Allstar" players.

Whatever your views on the NHL "Allstar" game are, I hope you enjoy watching the festivites this weekend including the always interesting (even though it was only started last year) Breakaway Challenge (if Ovechkin can do what he did last year and actually make contact with the puck, I give him the automatic win).

Adventures of Suzie

2009-01-21T16:39:00.001-05:00

So here starts the tale of our friend Suzie. She is a Shinny Slut, and no we aren't too sure what a Shinny Slut is either, but hopefully through this written record we will all learn a thing or two. Suzie will do her best to entertain us all with a tale every week of her epic adventures at shinny.

Take us away Suzie.

Sooooooo, we were totally at like shinny the other day, and as usual it was way cool. But see here, there there was this totally sketch goalie, he looked like a bogus 8-year old. But, whatever, the like big prob was that he was way un-cool and wouldn't switch with like the third goalie there. Totally lame sauce. So, you know, this like other totally rad goalie (TRG) totally went over and like kicked him out, like wicked! TRG is like totally the man, annnd he's a super sweet tendy too, like gnarly saves all over the place. It was like awesome.

Anyways, there were like these two totally dreamy guys who kept passing me the puck and i like really didn't want it. Both the guys had like the flowiest hair EVER, i think it like made them play better.

So I had a this like totally wicked breakaway and I totally would have scored if the puck didn't like trip me on the rebound after the TRG stopped my shot. And I had like a really sweet pass to a guy infront and totally got an assist, like woah I'm super wicked.

Thanks for that riveting shinny tale. We hope to hear more from Suzie the Shinny Slut in the near future.

I spent entirely too much time on this

2009-01-15T19:35:00.002-05:00

Click to enlarge...it's worth it.

Fantasy Hockey Problem

2009-01-15T10:23:00.001-05:00

Don't you hate it when all 3 of your fantasy hockey goalies are playing in one night and you have to leave one of them on the bench. Don't you really hate it when the two lesser goalies are playing really crappy teams and you know the right thing to do is bench the super awesome goalie playing against a decent team but you can't because you know he will end up getting a shutty. It's a really tough world we live in.

NEW STICK

2009-01-14T11:26:00.003-05:00

So the last post has reminded me of back in the day when i used to use a wood stick, Sherwood with a Coffey curve. Boy was that a wicked curve. I recently bought my first wood stick in years because it was a Coffey curve and it's nice to go back to that once and a while now that I've played with one piece sticks for a bit.

My first one piece was a Crosby curve, it was a beauty, mostly black with a little bit of orange, and I taped it up with orange tape too. It should have lasted me a long time but a gap in the boards near the zamboni door decided it was the sticks time to go just a few weeks after I got it. The blade got caught in the boards while i was trying to get the puck as i skated by and it just snapped at the end of the shaft. It was very sad, but it allowed me to get a new one piece. It was a Team Canada stick and a new type of curve, my favourite player, Simon Gagne. The first few games i played with it I was very cautious with it but it has lived through until today and it has had some awesome passes and goals come off it.

Last year I found a pretty much fully orange stick at a ProShop at a rink and decided I'd buy that so i could have 2 one piece sticks. It's a little shorter and my other one but a decent stick. However it does not compare to my new stick which I got yesterday...

Bauer Vapor XVI..what a beautiful stick. Best part, it has a Gagne curve. It has yet to be used but I'm hoping it has some luck in it for the first game as most of my other sticks have.

The Internet is Dangerous

2009-01-14T11:13:00.005-05:00

Jordan Staal Stalkers unite here.

And I refuse to see any legitimacy in the Lecavalier rumours mostly because I don't want half of the Habs to leave, including everyone's favourite: PK Subban.

And he isn't even a Hab yet.

Only 200 kilometers away!

2009-01-13T20:55:00.002-05:00

Guess who:
He was born on the same day as Patrick Roy, in the same Canadian province, just 200 kilometers apart.

Mario

(ONLY 200 km away!)

Next, who lived with Mario after he was drafted?

Crosby, yes.

Who else?

Fleury, yes again.

Who else?

Yes there was someone else, Mario has seemed to make a habit of it.

ЯГР

What's the most awesome anagram for Jaromir?

Mario Jr.

"I didn't even know what anagram meant in English, how could I translate that into Czech?"
-Jiri Hrdina, former Penguins and teammate of Jagr, and fellow Czech trying to explain to Jágr that mixing the letters of "Jaromir" actually spells "Mario Jr"

Also, Hrdina and ЯГР were called Czechmates, hilarious, I know.

Did you know that Mark Madden said he would donate $6500 to the Mario Lemieux Foundation, if Mario scored directly off a faceoff in a radio show. That night Mario did just that. Check it.

ЯГР's father owns a chain of hotels.

Paul Coffey preferred his skates to fit as tightly as possible, and wore two sizes smaller than his shoes. They were tied with two sets of laces, one laced from the bottom to half way up, and the other from the halfway point to the top. The skates were so tight that rather than untying them trainers cut the laces to remove his skates after every game. Also, he preferred to grind the blades of his skates to a very dull finish resulting in him "gliding" over the surface of the ice.

Coffey is into car dealerships.

He also has an epic stick curve.

Thank you wikipedia.

ЯГР

2009-01-10T16:41:00.005-05:00

ЯГР says he would play for the Penguins if Mario gives him a ring and asks him to.
Read This
That would be unreal.

Ballin'

Check this out too, some pretty epic pics of Jagr and Mario
ps check out that hair.

More World Jrs

2009-01-03T23:49:00.003-05:00

Just to note that 15-0 is a tournament record for goals and the 8 powerplay goals by Canada was a record for Canada. As for player records, John Tavares tied Eric Lindros and Jeff Carter for total goals with 12.

Now a bit about the semi against Russia tonight. We were playing our own hockey game during the first 2 periods but we caught the most important part of the game. I must admit when there were about 30 seconds to go I thought Canada was done, and I was mostly thinking no one would score in overtime, but I had all the faith in the world that Canada (mostly John Tavares) would get it done (like Johnny T got it done against the USA). And look at that, they did. Canada plays a tough opponent on Monday night in Sweden, should be a great game and as shown by today just cause Canada looks down and out doesn't mean they are.

One more quick note:
5.3 seconds..way to take it to the wire

Lil about the 2009 World Junior Championships

2009-01-02T22:40:00.004-05:00

If you have been following the IIHF World Jr Championships in Ottawa, you have probably heard all about how the tournament should be an 8 team tournament so there are not as many blow outs (See Canada vs Kazakhstan..or anyone vs Kazakhstan). The logic of bring 2 teams up was that if they played the big boys they would see what the need to do to beat the big boys and then would get better. That only works if the team is at least close in skill level. Also there is a wonderful in the IIHF tournaments that when a tie occurs it goes to goals. This means if you are winning 5,6,7 or 8 to 0 you can't just lay off and not score because it could mean the difference between getting a bye to the semis or playing in the quarters. This is a wHeak rule and really should be changed if the tournament is going to stay in its current format. (The IIHF was considering making it a 12 team tournament but that idea got trashed after Canada trashed Kazakhstan 15-0)

Anyone watch the game everyone was waiting for in the preliminary round? Canada vs rivals USA. Always a good game, and everyone knew this one was going to be no different. But boy was it ever, one of the best games of the tournament and of recent memory. Canada went down by 3 early but were sparked by (at least Don Cherry and I like to think) one of the American players going by the Canadian bench after the 3rd goal with his hand to his ear. TSN turning point anyone? It may not have been the reason but Canada came back and scored 3 and ended up winning 7-4 (2 homo goals, one by Tavares to complete the hatrick) and got the bye to the semis. Fun fact to note, USA lost to Slovakia in the quarters and are out of medal contention. Canada plays Russia Saturday night for the chance to play for gold on Monday. Go Canada Go!

You know it's a good morning when...

2008-12-30T11:13:00.002-05:00

Some days when you wake up and sit in front of the computer, you zip through all those must-see bookmarks, and email and such and before you know it, you're sitting there thinking "Now what?". Aye, But not this morning for me. You see, I send props to thePensblog regularly, when I come up with a new stupid saying or joke, it's cause of them, some dumb photoshop, I found it over there. So this morning, their post, complete nonsense (more than usual, I must point out) including a truly moving rendition of "Over the mountain" and I forget there's more to the internet than this one page.

In conclusion, if you read this, stop wasting your time, go to thePensblog it's the right thing to do.

Where do you think this is from?

Also, I'd like to send a shout-out to our friends at Yahoo Fantasy Sports, thanks for rubbing it in:

LETANG: More Vitamin C than Orange Juice!

2008-12-24T11:19:00.000-05:00

Honestly the best thing to come to me in weeks

Follow Up to Gabby

2008-12-22T21:59:00.002-05:00

I was listening to Leaf Talk with Andy Frost after the Leafs-Thrashers game tonight and I heard a very interesting rumor that has been floating around which relates to the Gabby post made earlier. Apparently, the Thrashers are in talks with the Wild to get rid of their best and quite possibly their only player, Ilya Kovalchuk. It would be a packaged deal with possibly Colby Armstrong, because really what team would want just Kovalchuk. Coming back to ATL would be..yeah you guessed it, Marian Gaborik. Why would Gaborik want to leave Minny and play for the Thrashers .. little known fact about Gabby, he doesn't like the cold. So whether this goes through or not, we will atleast know one player actually plays hockey in Atlanta, and that will help us all sleep at night.

Get Me to TB

2008-12-21T23:30:00.004-05:00

New realization, if I was a shitty NHL-er I'd want to play in Tampa. Look at it this way, one of the better climates in the league, no other talent to make you feel bad about yourself, and with that being said, no one is disappointed if you suck cause the whole team sucks. Win-win...-win.

Think about it-Malone did. (Sweet video)

Gabby! The NEXT big thing!

2008-12-21T01:18:00.004-05:00

So, now that the whole Sundin debacle has ended (I thank every god three times daily for this) and by ended I clearly mean he finally signed with someone and now all we need to do is ignore all the crap about getting ready and fitting in and such and such...

BUT what I'm trying to bring about is something I meant to push for a lot sooner, Marion Gaborik trade talk. Clearly, the Wild want to get rid of their franchise player, cause he doesn't fit in. I mean who else plays for them? Demitra (Hi, I'm Pavel, nice Demitra.) oh wait isn't he a Canuck now? Um what about Brian Rolston? Nope, he now calls Jersey his home... Does anyone else play for the Wild?

Reality check, some people might bring up Derek Boogaard, Niklas Backstrom, or even Eric Belanger (especially if he's stolen your sweater). And how many people can list at least three players from St.Louis, or Columbus, or Atlanta etc... So the Wild doesn't have much going for them, which is what makes this more fun.

five goals in one game IS impressive.

I think Gabby should get injured again soon (it's a given he's gonna be out again, it's just a matter of when) and then the Wild should really try to get him off their hands, 'cause everyone likes an injury prone star, right?

Really I don't know where this is going, but Gabby is my new thing, hopefully TSN takes notice.

EXCITMENT and a New Direction

2008-12-18T14:18:00.004-05:00

So first of all I'm super excited about MAF being not only back in the line-up tonight but starting, and the Penguins are playing Atlanta so it should be a pretty sweet welcome-back party. But I shouldn't get too cocky, I mean Columbus did beat SJ last night...
And Whitney is on the brink of returning as well, which kind of begs the question, how did the blue line hold up so well? Clearly the talent isn't limited to the big names. -Braap LeGame Braap-

Personally, I will always enjoy the gold pads way more, screw any advantages white pads have.

On a completely different note, I've decided to play hockey myself and I'm looking for some off-ice drills and the such so i don't bring the suck nearly as hard. So if you have any fun (or not-so-fun) things to try and work on it would be superly duperly appriciated.The Real God.

-kc

2008-12-10T00:26:00.004-05:00

I would like to throw in a nomination for the most douchebag looking hockey player of the year (they don't actually have to be one like avery to be win) ... Scottie Upshall, or as we all know him as .. Scottie Try-Hard. If I had enough money to get addicted to coke and go to rehab a few times I'd own a Flyers jersey with #9 and "TRY-HARD" on the back. No nomination would be complete without a picture so here it is folks...

"I look awesome with these wicked headphones..if only i remembered my iPod."

--kp

I Want Avery's Sunglasses

2008-12-05T18:19:00.008-05:00

Enough said, these are beauties, they look like they could fly right off his face.

More interesting, and less likely to make you puke is that Whitney and Fleury will be back soon. Braap.

This is completely unrelated to anything, but it's clearly a gem. Words cannot describe how awesome this is.

-kc

Off-Season Review: Part 6: Candian Teams

2008-10-16T00:21:00.002-04:00

Clearly when I said in alphabetical order by city I meant only the American teams, so now we get to the Canadian teams;

Calgary Flames

Main pick up: Todd Bertuzzi. Well enjoy dealing with him. And maybe if Kipper can keep it together (which he probably won't) they might make the playoffs.

Edmonton Oilers

Sent some players away for Eric Cole and Lubomir Visnovsky. Young talent like Gagner and Cogliano, and players who have been there FOREVER *cough* horcoff *cough* will maybe make the playoffs.

Montreal Canadiens

Gained Georges Laraque, tried to get Mats Sundin, got Lang and Tangauy. Lost Michael Ryder. Try saying Michael Ryder without a french accent. No really, give it a try.

Ottawa Senators

They lost long time Sen Redden, picked up old D-man Jason Smith and enforcer Jarkko Ruutu and added a bunch of depth players. Not much change though, still just ok.

Vancouver Canucks

They lost some key parts of their team the past several years in Naslund and Morrison. Also a loss of Linden to retirement. Replaced by .... *drum roll* KYLE WELLWOOD. Too bad he needs to lose some weight. And by some we all know i mean A LOT.

Toronto Maple Leafs

The MoLeafs lost Mr Captain of 10+ years, Mats Sundin. And really they didn't do much else except get a new coach. Also I know T comes before V but i figured I'd put the Leafs where they will end up at the end of the year.

Off-Season Review: Part 5

2008-10-16T00:11:00.003-04:00

St Louis Blues

Wozniewski has arrived in St Louis. This is clearly not a Stanley Cup winning move, mostly because you need to actually make the playoffs to have a chance at the cup. Nice try though blues.

Tampa Bay Lightning

There was a road trip from Pennsylvania to Tampa Bay over the summer, Gary Roberts, Ryan Malone, Vaclav Prospal, and we are gonna pretend Recchi played for the Pens all last year. Soon we will here the 10 fans at Tampa Bay games chanting "WWGRD!!!"

Washington Capitals

It was a sad goodbye to long time goalie Olaf Kolzig this summer but they welcome Jose Theodore. They pretty much did nothing besides that move. Ovie for 82 goals this year??

Off-Season Review: Part 4

2008-10-14T20:03:00.003-04:00

New York Rangers

Welcome Mr Markus Naslund to Broadway, we hope you enjoy your stay which you will because you won't have to deal with that douchebag avery or Jagr so you can have more ice time. Also Dmitri Kalinin (who spells there name like that without an 'i' or 'e') only had to move across the state from Buffalo. Atleast they have a good goalie, make that great goalie.

Philadelphia Flyers

These guys were oftly quiet considering their last off-season however not much work was needed. They got some depth at forward (which they really didnt need with Giroux and JVR coming up fast) and with Darian "The Slug" Hatcher on the IR it frees up a little cap room to make a pickup on D.

Phoenix Coyotes

Added Olli Jokinen and some depth players, but is phoenix really at the stage where they should be added so called depth players? i think not. Answers will come when spring rolls around, and we will see just how far Wayne has brought these dogs.

Pittsburgh Penguins

No one wants to mess with the Pens this year now that they have Satan on their side. But the lost of Gary Roberts has left everyone thinking what would Gary Roberts have done? With the loss of Laraque and Ruutu, Sid the whiny kid is going to have to stick up for himself this year.

San Jose Sharks

They have beefed up their blueline with Rob Blake, Dan Boyle and Brad Lukowich, and by beefed up I mean not size wise but Stanley Cup winning experience, which is the only reason why this makes sense because the sharks have one of the top 3 goalies in the league and he can play 75+ games.

Off-Season Review: Part 3

2008-10-14T19:43:00.003-04:00

So where did we leave off .. ah yes with the

Los Angeles Kings

So they lost their most well known and probably best player in Rob Blake to the Sharks, but they have JACK JOHNSON!! (too bad he is out 3-4months) and Kopitar and Frolov but none of them are ready to lead their team to the finals or even the playoffs.

Minnesota Wild

I've always been confused as to what a "Wild" really is and perhaps that is why no one cares about them. Little known fact for everyone, Owen Nolan is still in the league and is playing for the Wild, talk about a BIG off season move.

Nashville Predators

Signed some defence to multiyear deals, got rid of a goalie and some other old guys. Not too much to say about them, maybe they will show up on the radar come trade deadline time.

New Jersey Devils

This off-season was a call back to the devils of the good ol' days when Scott Stevens ruled the blueline at whatever their old rink was. Rolston and Holik were brought back and maybe this will mean lots of use of the new rink come spring time.

New York Islanders

Streit was added from Montreal which should help their goalie for the next 5 billion years if he makes it through the season. Also, they got Doug Weight to play with his old friend Bill Guerin and maybe they can score, but they aren't fooling anyone, they're going nowhere.

Garbage Whoot

2008-10-08T13:36:00.005-04:00

While again KP goes ahead and makes a decent and respectable post, I feel the need to partner it with my own garbage. Because, I don't care enough, to inform everyone of every excitable fact, but rather what I find amusing.

Like Satan, and I will refuse to pronounce it properly, but rather as the lord of the underworld. I must admit that I enjoyed him when he played with the Devils (for the rather amusing coincidence it provided) but, I've seen him play with the Pens now, and I'm terribly excited.

I don't really know why he's with hussein either... meh

On a horrid note, the blue line…it really doesn’t exist anymore. We all took a blow when Whitney decided he needed foot surgery . But having to come to terms with the fact that Gonchar is gone, till the playoffs if we're all good children and eat our vegetables and not attack too many whores in dark alleys for their drugs…but I digress. We are having to cope with imagining a defense with out the two stars of the blue line. And it's hard, and as much as LeTang brings LeGame, and Goligoski (man, this kid needs a nick name and fast) is getting there, will they be here in time for le season?

who doesn't love a guy who feeds season tickets to kitties?

Game one, win!

Game two, lose? Yah that sucked…

Powerplay? Worse then the leafs 5 on 3 on a bad night. Yah what was that, like 294747290209345 man advantages and what to show for it…one measly goal.

That makes me depressed and unfunny, I apologize Mike, I shall make something up instead.

Ruutu…Jarkko Ruutu. DEAD TO ME. I morn the loss of a good friend, go burn in hell.

WWGRD Update: I still believe. It's not a question. It's a way of life.

And until he does something douchey to the Pens, he will be my god.

Remember: Death once had a near-Gary experience.

KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY (super up an comer star with an ugly face…probably wouldn't even make the scale.)

I have nothing else to rant on right now, need a couple more games, possibly a few more players to obsess over, and some serious fantasy hockey point scoring to fuel my fingers.

Off-Season Review: Part 2

2008-10-07T23:46:00.000-04:00

Colorado Avalanche

ALERT: BEST OFF-SEASON MOVE EVER!!! Avs sign super skilled goalie ANDREW RAYCROFT!!! RAZOR!!! And clearly by super skilled i mean in sucking and letting pucks in.

Columbus Bluejackets

Name 4 players on the Bluejackets. Rick Nash.... yeah that’s what I thought. Maybe you guessed Pascal Leclair who they resigned over the summer and don’t forget they got RJ Umberger last year from the flyers. Anyone smell playoffs? Nope didn’t think so.

Dallas Stars

Dallas picked up some people and lost some probably better people but who really cares about hockey in Texas when there’s Longhorn football to be played.

Detroit Red Wings

They got Marian Hossa, who has now become the most hated person in Pittsburgh, going from the losing team of the finals to the winning team, but just imagine the fun opening night in the joe for the ring and banner ceremony. Nice work Hossa.

Florida Panthers

According to Denny Crane the only panthers left in florida are at the hockey games but last time I saw a game from there it didn’t look like anyone knew this fact. Panthers picked up Bryan McCrap from the Leafs and a valid point was brought up by a friend, “If no one is there to watch you suck, do you still suck?” We will see this season .. or maybe we won’t.

-kp

Off-Season Review: Part 1

2008-09-17T18:08:00.005-04:00

As the season approaches and everyone is getting back into the hockey spirit it seems like a great time to look back at the off-season team by team (alphabetically by city of course).

Atlanta Thrashers

Well...Ilya Kovalchuk anyone? They picked up some cheap free agents like Jason Williams and Marty Reasoner. Next to Kovalchuk, their best winger is Colby Armstrong...Yeah this team isn’t going anywhere anytime soon unless Kari Lehtonen can get his act together and keep pucks out of the net...But I wouldn’t count on that.

Boston Bruins

They were able to pick up Michael Ryder even if it was for a lot of money, and they have some young talent (Kessel, Krejci, Lucic) and they will have Patrice Bergeron back after being sidelined last year after a hit by Randy Jones. Also a good fight for starting goalie between Manny Fernandez and Tim Thomas, and Tuukka Rask waiting for his chance.

Buffalo Sabres

It was a bad year for them last year and it could be about the same this year as they lost D-man Brian Campbell and tried to replace him with Craig Rivet and have also resigned Teppo Numminen. They will not run into the Briere/Drury problem of two summers ago next year with Miller as he resigned this summer, and with Lalime as a backup I’m sure Miller will rack up the playing time. If the Sabres go to guys (Vanek, Roy, Pominville and Afinogenov) can pick up the pace from last year they will be alright.

Carolina Hurricanes

They added an alright defenseman in Joni Pitkanen for Erik Cole, resigned Eric Staal and have a good core group (Williams, Walker, and Brind’Amour). Should goaltender Cam Ward play as well as he did last year (37 wins, .904 save percentage) they should be alright in what once was the easiest divison in hockey.

Chicago Blackhawks

Oh boy, can it be. Good hockey may have returned to the Chicago area. With young guns like Kane and Toews (P. Kane and Capt Johnny T) and additions of Brian Campbell (for 8 years) on defence and Cristobal Huet (for 4 years) things are looking up for the Blackhawks.

Before we count our sheep

2008-05-17T14:08:00.002-04:00

So before all us Pittsburgh and Detroit fans, get too cocky, here's something to keep us all in check:
The only two teams in the history of the NHL to lose a best of seven after leading the series 3-0 are Pittsburgh and Detroit...

Crap

1975 Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Islanders (quarter finals)

1942 Detroit Red Wings vs. Toronto Maple Leafs (Stanley Cup finals)

And in case you're curious: Penguins playoff history and Red Wings playoff history.

-kc

Goal or No Goal

2008-05-12T13:06:00.003-04:00

And now it’s time to play Goal or No Goal.

It is a very simple game. You pick a briefcase, in it is a year, we pick a goal or no goal from that year and you decide what the final call on it was. If you’re right you win, if you’re wrong you lose.

Let’s get started!!

Pick your first case.

*drum roll*

You have picked … 1999.

For this goal or no goal, we go to the Stanley Cup Finals game 6, the Buffalo Sabres at the Dallas Stars. This shot came in the 3^rd overtime period. Brett Hull of the Dallas Stars was the one who took the shot, and before he had the puck, his foot was in the crease. I remind you that in 1999 the NHL, it was illegal to score a goal if an offensive player's skate entered the crease before the puck did. So now it’s your turn, what was the call? Goal or No Goal?

No Goal.

*drum roll*

Oh no, so sorry but it was called a Goal. And it ended the series as Dallas won the Stanley Cup 4 games to Buffalo’s 2.

That’s ok the game goes on.

Pick your next case.

*drum roll*

You have picked … A DOUBLE YEAR CASE!!! 2000 and 2008.

This is a special case, almost the same thing happened in these two situations and they may or may not have been called the same. It’s up to you to decide.

In 2000 NHL Playoffs, 1^st round, Philadelphia Flyers verses the Buffalo Sabres. Its game 2, John Leclair shot the puck through the side of the net, through a hole in the mesh. This was reviewed by the NHL. In a similar event in the 2008 IIHF World Hockey Championships, in a game between the USA and Finland, Finland scored through the side of the net as well. The goal is reviewed and with much better review technology which allows in the reviewers to zoom in on the puck. And now to you, Goal or No Goal?

Both No Goals.

*drum roll*

That is a solid answer … too bad it is not the correct one. Both goals were called goals, even after reviewing them. The Flyers went on to win the game 2-1 and the series 4-1, while Finland started and completed their comeback and beat the Americans 3-2.

One more case. You need to get this one right or its game over buddy.

*drum roll*

And the year is … 2008.

Conference Finals, Battle of the Atlantic and the state of Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh Penguins verses Philadelphia Flyers. Game 2, puck goes off Derian ‘The Slug’ Hatcher and looks like it is going to go in. Until, Marty Biron’s glove covers the puck just as it crosses the line. The goal gets reviewed, but common sense would tell you that the puck crossed the line even though the glove covered it. Remember you need to get this one right, Goal or No Goal?

*Final Jeopardy Music*

Goal.

*drum roll*

Great answer, but I’m sorry…that’s not right. The goal was reviewed and called a No Goal because there wasn’t clear video evidence of the puck crossing the goal line, but the Penguins went on to win the game 4-2 and lead the series 2-0.

It’s game over for you but thanks for playing … Goal or No Goal.

--kp

High stick...to the FACE!

2008-05-10T16:40:00.003-04:00

So while enjoying the game tonight kp and I learned something tremendously important:

High sticks to the face are no longer penalties.

Then we learned some more, here are the rest of those infractions which are penalties no more:

Boarding

Playing with a broken stick

Butt-ending

Charging

Checking from behind

Clipping (body-on-knee-ish)

Cross-Checking

Delay of Game (this one was accidentally called tonight)

Diving (*cough Crosby and Richards cough* I thought I’d make it fair)

Elbowing

Various Face-off Penalties

Falling on Puck

Fisticuffs

Handling puck with hands (hand pass)

Head-butting

High-stick (it’s been previously stated…but I like a comprehensive list)

Holding

Holding an opponent’s stick (NHL says they’re separate horrors)

Hooking

Interference

Interference by/with Spectators (hey, it can result in a penalty to the home team.)

Kicking

Kneeing

Obscene Language or Gestures (obviously this one is never called anymore)

Physical Abuse of Officials

Roughing

Slashing

Spearing

Throwing stick(s) (or even shooting them, or any other object too)

Tripping

So basically that’s a list of things you can now get away with, aka I made a list of things that should be a penalty.

I’m told this is playoff hockey. I don’t like it. This kind of refereeing benefits a bigger, rougher team, who usually takes a lot of penalties, and threatens the smaller, faster teams.

But there’s also a concern for the safety of the players, these penalties are rules for a reason, and not calling them is dumb. The next guy that gets boarded and ends up with a concussion, is the ref’s fault, just as much as the attacking player. The refs allow the players to make stupid plays when they’re supposed to be preventing it.

Got it? Good, rant over.

This has to be my favourite penalty of all time.

If you don’t believe me, or just have way too much time on your hands read the NHL rulebook yourself.

And this site is pretty cool too if you want to read more on les rules: 101 penalties

Finally, this is just simply amazing and you will waste at least a solid 5 mins on it: Picture-thinger (I don't know what it's called)

-kc

Random thoughts from Game 1: Pens 4 Flyers 2

2008-05-09T22:33:00.002-04:00

So we have learned that the Flyers have no chance of holding off Malkin, especially now without their clear number one defenseman Kimmo Timonen. And the only Flyer who decided to show up halfway through the game is Mike Richards.

What was with that no goal call on the Flyers first goal? I realize you may have lost sight of the puck but the ref should have conferred with other refs, which I have seen before, before making a call. And the call on Orpik, there was a bit of a hold with the free hand but as stated by the commentator, that was not being called at all the rest of the playoffs, that should not have been called a penalty, just a good clean hit.

The only thing that is going to save the Flyers is the same thing they have been doing all playoffs, dump and chase. But to do this they must HIT when they are chasing it. There has been no hitting to speak of so far in the game, just over half way through the 2^nd period. The only way the Flyers are going to win is to be physical and get Crosby and Malkin off their games, and it seems that is it going to be tough to get the very hot ‘Geno’ off his game.

Side note to the game, in a feature shown in the 2^nd period, another example of how strange goalies are. Marty Biron has had the same skates for 12 years. That is about as long as he has been in the NHL, so we realize that most of the time these skates have just been worn on the bench while watching the number one goalies in net. However they still have lost most of their support, but Marty has found a way to create the support he needs. All it takes is 2-3 rolls of clear hockey tape, which he puts on before every skate, practice and game. That’s a lot of tape. If I had a nickel for every roll of tape he used, I would be rich.

Why is Patrick Thorensen in the NHL? He plays on the 4^th line, which is one of the weirdest 4^th lines in hockey. Jim Dowd, Patrick Thorensen, and Sami Kapanen? Speedy Sami Kapanen is on the 4^th line. Shows you the kind of depth the Flyers have up front, which is promising. But Patrick Thorensen, we all saw the huge give away he made to give the Penguins the first goal of the game

Flyers need to play more aggressive in their own zone. They are just hanging back and making weak passes. The passes need to be firm, strong passes or else you are going to turn over the puck to most likely Malkin or Crosby and then you’re done. Furthermore, the Flyers are playing like a bunch of Timbit Hockey kids, all 5 guys are chasing the puck around, and that leads to scoring chances for those Penguins left uncovered and mostly likely goals.

And in the offensive zone, Hartnell, what are you doing?? Get in Fleury’s face. Stick your butt in there like you did for Huet and Price. Jeff Carter, you are 6’ 3” 200lbs buddy, play like you have been built. HIT PEOPLE!! Take out Malkin or Whitney or anyone else you are going up against in the corner or in open ice. Take a look at the way Scottie ‘Try-hard’ Upshall plays, you have 3 inches on him, and he hits harder than you.

One last note, Bobby Clarke is an idiot.

--kp

Refs, and Bad Wings Hockey

2008-05-09T21:28:00.001-04:00

For those of you who actually sat through Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, congratulations. I cannot imagine watching the whole game. From what I saw it was a typical Detroit Red Wings hockey game, flashes of great hockey but for the most part it was hockey that could put you to sleep and may well have. Don Cherry during Coach's Corner showed the fans after a hit by a Wings player, no fan reaction minus the one guy who raised his hands in approval of the hit. In the same clip, you could see the amount of empty seats at Joe Louis Area in what is supposed to be known as Hockeytown, USA. But Hockeytown it is not. This is the 3^rd round of the playoffs. There should be no empty seats whatsoever. NONE.

Who can we blame for this?

No not the fans, the team. The team is by far one of the more boring to watch on TV or live. This team rivals the trapping New Jersey Devils for most boring hockey I have seen. One Red Wing was in a scrum and was hit in the face by a Star not once, but twice and what was his reaction…he just skated away. This is NOT playoff hockey, but enough about the Wings and their bad hockey, back to the game and the refs.

When we look at this game one goal pops right out, the Detroit goal in which a Detroit player was clearly in the crease and impeding Marty Turco from doing his job. Earlier in the playoffs this would have been called off, but apparently it’s ok now. The one thing that all sports fans, whether they be baseball, hockey, basketball, football or soccer or anything else, is consistent rules, and for the refs or umpires to be consistent in calling them. I realize that all referees are different but even the same referees will call differently game to game.

So to those who plan on watching the game, good luck, and for those who aren’t going to watch it, good call, and let hope the refs make some of those too.

--kp

IIHF World Hockey Championship

2008-05-08T17:34:00.004-04:00

Playoff Season, a time that everyone, fans and players alike, lives for. But when it comes down to it only sixteen teams make the playoffs. After a long season, the players on those fourteen other teams are done playing, just like that, or so it seems…

The IIHF World Hockey Championships, one of the many tournaments which the International Ice Hockey Federation runs throughout the year. Never heard of it? It’s because it happens at the same time as the NHL Playoffs. It’s a tournament where players gain experience that might be that edge to get them on an Olympic team, or just simply a place to play for your country for those who will never get a chance at the Olympics.

The World Championships are special for those who play and watch them, however this year they are even more special and note just because it is the IIHF’s 100^th anniversary. ‘And what can be more special than that,’ you might ask. Well, for the first time ever the championship is being held in the birth place of hockey, Canada.

In just under a week, 24 games have been played in Halifax and Quebec City. For any hockey fan in either of these cities, it’s like heaven. The biggest game in the tournament so far, could not have come at a better time for the IIHF.

Rivals in not only hockey, but just about anything you can think of, Canada and the USA. This game, which gave Canada their first really test, happened in the layoff between rounds 2 and 3 of the NHL Playoffs, and what a game it was. The Canadians were outplayed by the Americans for much of the game but were able to squeak by with 5-4 victory powered by the amazing play of the young goaltender from the Carolina Hurricanes, Cam Ward, and game winning goal by Dany Heatley, of the Ottawa Senators, who were swept in the first round by the Penguins.

Starting this later this week will be the Qualification round, which will decide which teams move on to the quarter finals. From there fans can sit back and see who are the worlds best, just about the same time we could be finding out which teams have survived the conference finals is going to play for the Stanley Cup.

The next time you are wondering how Shane Doan, Rick Nash, or Jay Bouwmeester are doing on the golf course, you really should be wondering how they are doing for Team Canada and that is every easy to check, just flip on TSN.

--kp

KP has done a wonderful job watching the World Championships, and obviously has too much time on her hands, but there is one thing I can add: Cam Ward is in fact Canadian (from Sherwood Park, Alberta actually) and not American like I had previously chosen to believe. In my defense, "Cam Ward" sounds very American to me... Crap, I lose.

-kc

The Penguins' Season - Nowhere Near Done!

2008-05-07T15:37:00.005-04:00

This picture is just so awkward it completes any Penguin fan.

I felt compelled to write some sort of season review in response to the saga of the Flyers below, so here is my magnificent attempt:

The Penguin’s season last year ended with an embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Ottawa Senators. You might try to say it was due to the lack of experience on the team, or the lack of performance from their stars, or dare you say it, all Marc-Andre Fleury’s fault, their young goalie. But it doesn’t matter, the defeat was embarrassing, and the Penguins were determined to make their next season even better.

During the off-season the awesome Ray Shero made some stellar moves, including acquiring Petr Sykora, and Daryl Sydor, and losing Chris Thorburn, Nils Ekman, Jocelyn Thibault, and Michel Ouellet. And honestly, other than Oullet who has a cool name, it wasn’t a big loss, with a huge gain.

And so the season started…dismally. Going 10-13-0 during the first two months of the season isn’t a horrible record I suppose, but it’s definitely nothing to be proud of.

But it was in December that things seemed to take a turn for the worse, the much worse. Everyone was injured and out, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone except Gary Roberts, because a broken leg never stopped him, or the high right ankle sprain…

Which incidentally became the Penguin’s new favourite term…and injury.

MAF (Marc-Andre Fleury) decided to jump on the band wagon, and was out, so Pittsburgh saw Dany Sabourin take his turn in net. And he was hot…for awhile… Cue Ty Conklin. If you don’t know who this guy is, stop pretending you care, and go play cricket. Yes, Ty Conklin, and if Sabourin was hot when he started, Conklin was on fire. Fans were even saying that Conklin should, and would replace MAF as starting goalie when he came back. Blasphemy I say.

But meanwhile, other crucial players were taking the “high ankle sprain” to heart. We lost Max Talbot pretty much the same time, and then it happened:

Sidney Crosby out with high ankle sprain.

As a Penguins fan, that’s a devastating thing to hear…it makes you sit there in shock for at least a good minute or two. Critics, reporters, and hockey fans alike, all said that the Penguins’ season was over.

HA!

Personally, I think it was the best thing that could have happened. Not really a Crosby fan, seeing Evgeni Malkin lead the team out of their little slump and finally showed everyone that the team didn’t need the Kid to win. And win they did. “Geno” Malkin at their helm.

Oh then came the trade deadline…we waved a tearful farewell to the trusty friend and goalie-runner Colby Armstrong, the shoot-out king Eric Christensen, and a couple draft picks, but we welcomed Hal Gill, Pascal Dupis, and… MARION HOSSA.

No, Hossa hasn’t quite lived up to his hype, but neither has Jordan Staal this year. Do we love them any less? No.

Do I hope Hossa stays around? Yes. Do I think there’s salary cap room for him? My answer: Is there room for everyone of this all-star team? Make your own call there.

Gill has provided the size and skill lacking on the blue line, and Hossa has proved to be a decent line-mate for Crosby.

The Penguins played some more good hockey for the rest of the season, and then tada, it was playoff time. They finished a beautiful second in the conference, and added an Atlantic Division title banner to the Igloo.

Round 1: Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa
Time for revenge.
And it was sweet.
Like sugar covered honey, with ice cream and sprinkles.
Sweep
Ottawa was done in four fun games.
Next.

Round 2: Pittsburgh vs. New York
They said this would be a tougher series.
I suppose it was.
5 games and done.
More media calling the Kid a diver and saying the refs were biased.
Honestly, is anyone still reading that stuff?
Next.

MAF is still on fire, his former hot-and-cold ways, seem to have been banished.

Crosby. Malkin, Hossa, Sykora, Ruutu, Malone, Staal, Talbot, Gonchar, Whitney, Gill, Hall, ROBERTS…need I go on? Is there a Penguin who has yet to score in the post season? Yah, like three of them, I think we’ll live.

Michel Therrien is a beast, that’s all I need to say.

Round 3: Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia
Eastern Conference Finals.
Division Rivals.
State Rivals.
Bring it.

-kc

Flyers Season Review (so far)

2008-05-06T23:11:00.006-04:00

It’s hard to believe we are already here: halfway through the 2008 NHL Playoffs, with only four teams remaining. After the gruelling 82 game regular season and two hard fought rounds of hockey, it’s time to look back and reflect on what brought us here. This is the journey of the Philadelphia Flyers.

The 2007-08 Flyers roster gave hope to us fans who had just lived through the worst hockey season in Flyers history. After several deals at the 2007 trade deadline that saw Martin Biron, Scottie Upshall, and others come to Philadelphia, the Flyers made a splash in the off-season. The Flyers General Manager was able to sign star free agent Daniel Briere from Buffalo, and trade away the offensive defenseman Joni Pitkanen to Edmonton for a young kid by the name of Joffery Lupul and the captain of the Oilers, Jason Smith. Another defenseman, Kimmo Timonen, was brought in from Nashville along with Scott Hartnell, for a draft pick the Flyers had obtained in the exchange for Peter Forsberg at the deadline. Coming out of the off-season, the roster was a mixture of veteran leadership and talented youth.

The one position that had always held the Flyers back was their goaltending. This year there was hope that the goaltending problems had been solved by long time backup goalie in Buffalo, Marty Biron. Marty would prove throughout the year that he had learned a thing or two playing back-up to two of the leagues best goalies, Dominik Hasek and Ryan Miller, in Buffalo.

The season started off great. The Flyers were even within reach of the top of the conference, but things started to fall apart. Plagued by post concussion syndrome Simon Gagne, by far the best Flyers player last season, was forced to miss weeks, and eventually decided to end his season for good. This took its toll on the Flyers offence. The Flyers plummeted in the standings, falling out of the playoffs and were still there when March rolled around.

Despite this, some of the young guys on the team were still managing to make a name for themselves, especially Mike Richards. Not only did he secure a 12-year contract with the Flyers, he was also named to the NHL Eastern All-Star Team roster, along with defenseman Kimmo Timonen. Richards had picked up his game like those who had watched him in the minors knew he would. Then the injury bug struck again. Richards was gone with a torn hamstring, but once again the team rallied and others took over.

This time, it was Jeff Carter’s chance to shine. He helped the Flyers go 5-2-2 during Richards’ absence. Around trade deadline time, Carter’s name was rumoured to have been thrown around due to his lack of production, but Carter was able to turn it on when the Flyers needed it most.

The battles would not end with the regular season. They only got tougher. Due to the Flyers win in the last game and an Ottawa loss, the Flyers wound up finishing 6^th meaning they would play the 3^rd seeded team, the Washington Capitals.

The analysts were already writing the Flyers off, saying their defence was too slow to stop the offensively gifted Alexander Ovechkin. But, despite giving up lead after lead, they found themselves up 3-1 in the series. Unable to finish off the Caps in Washington they had the chance to win the series at home. Again they weren’t able to finish them off. The Flyers, once with a 3-1 series lead, were now facing the series tied at 3 and game 7 taking place in Washington. Once again the Flyers were able to battle back and prevailed in overtime in game 7. In the 2^nd round the Flyers were going to have to face the young, fast, and very talented Montreal Canadiens and their rookie sensation goalie, Carey Price.

After the Washington series some knew not to count out the Flyers, but few actually thought they would pull off the series win. However, with huge play from RJ Umberger and their own playoff rookie goaltender, they were able to come back after a blown lead and game 1 loss in overtime to win the next four straight and the series.

And now we look forward into the future, where the Flyers will take on state rivals, the Pittsburgh Penguins and their abundance of young talent, the likes of Sidney Crosby, Marc-Andre Fleury and their best playoff performer Evgeni ‘Geno’ Malkin. If this series lives up to the hype, it will go down as one of the best playoff series in recent history. So sit back and enjoy the 3^rd round of the 2008 NHL Playoffs. Lets go Flyers!

--kp

Numero Test

2008-05-05T23:18:00.005-04:00

So this is the way we'll waste our time, waste our time, waste our time...

A relevant observation...