That peak in august is that desolate strip of time in between free-agent frenzy, development camp (which is barely interesting at all, but by this point we are already clinging to any actual hockey) and training camp and the pre-season hype.
So somehow I ended up searching for "knitting and hockey", which I'm not going to lie, didn't look too promising at first. Then I came across this list "How to watch a hockey game". Now the list makes some great suggestions, like number 6: Beer. (You really can't argue with that one...unless you are at the ACC in which case you are more than welcome to forgo the beer, because the prices are so ridiculous). But I thought I would redo the list and make some adjustments.
How to Watch a Hockey Game
1) If you don’t know where the puck is, don’t reveal this to anybody, you should know where the puck is. Also, if you don’t know where the puck is you are American, and probably produce FOX sports.
2) Every time your team scores express your gratitude. How you do this depends on you and the state of the game. For example you can do the stand up and spill everything on and around you with arms in the air, the appreciative clap, or the fist pump. All of these can be accompanied by some sort of vocal noise, shouts and cheers for instance. If watching the game with friends, the high five, or double high five are also good choices.
3) Every time the other team scores, complain about that one guy that always messes up, and blame it on him. If it is a playoff game, speculate out loud how it might not be a legal goal.
4) Beer. Repeat as necessary.
5) Intermissions are for washroom breaks, snack replenishment and beer fridge restocking.
6) Fights are awesome. After the fight, you may debate who won it, the answer is always the guy on your team.
7) Feel free to heckle, but make sure you can defend yourself in case someone near you doesn’t like your opinions.
8) Also, you are morally obliged to point out any smoke-shows visible during the game.
9) Support your team no matter what, if you are unsure on how to do this, ask a Leaf fan, they’ve been supporting a losing team for decades.
And because a couple of girls write this blog, here's the Ladies' version. Not saying this is necessarily how we watch hockey, but there's no saying this isn't. And you aren't likely to find out anytime soon, lack of an on-going hockey season not-withstanding.
How to Watch a Hockey Game with the Girls
1) 1) If you don’t know where the puck is, bring up your opinion of the new jerseys.
2) 2) Every time your team scores, the degree of celebration should depend on how good-looking the player that scored it was. Confess your love for said player.
Belanger stole my sweater once... in a dream.
3) 3) Every time the opposing team scores complain how ugly the player is, even if he is drool worthy. Remember he is the enemy. A gorgeous hunk of an enemy...
4) 4) Try to only take washroom breaks during intermissions, tv time outs, long delays, and when you really can’t hold it anymore, or when playing the New Jersey Devils.
5) 5) Beer. Or cooler, or wine or something even fruitier. Repeat as necessary.
6) 6) Fights look rather painful, and they never seem to lose as much padding as would be visibly appealing. Better use the time to run to the little girls room!
7) 7) Feel free to rate the players' looks whenever there is a close up of someone.
8) 8) Make sure that all your friends know when the good looking ones are on screen,
9) 9) Support the best looking players, and whatever team they’re on.
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