Off-Season Review: Part 6: Candian Teams

Clearly when I said in alphabetical order by city I meant only the American teams, so now we get to the Canadian teams;

Calgary Flames

Main pick up: Todd Bertuzzi. Well enjoy dealing with him. And maybe if Kipper can keep it together (which he probably won't) they might make the playoffs.

Edmonton Oilers

Sent some players away for Eric Cole and Lubomir Visnovsky. Young talent like Gagner and Cogliano, and players who have been there FOREVER *cough* horcoff *cough* will maybe make the playoffs.

Montreal Canadiens

Gained Georges Laraque, tried to get Mats Sundin, got Lang and Tangauy. Lost Michael Ryder. Try saying Michael Ryder without a french accent. No really, give it a try.

Ottawa Senators

They lost long time Sen Redden, picked up old D-man Jason Smith and enforcer Jarkko Ruutu and added a bunch of depth players. Not much change though, still just ok.

Vancouver Canucks

They lost some key parts of their team the past several years in Naslund and Morrison. Also a loss of Linden to retirement. Replaced by .... *drum roll* KYLE WELLWOOD. Too bad he needs to lose some weight. And by some we all know i mean A LOT.

Toronto Maple Leafs

The MoLeafs lost Mr Captain of 10+ years, Mats Sundin. And really they didn't do much else except get a new coach. Also I know T comes before V but i figured I'd put the Leafs where they will end up at the end of the year.

Off-Season Review: Part 5

St Louis Blues

Wozniewski has arrived in St Louis. This is clearly not a Stanley Cup winning move, mostly because you need to actually make the playoffs to have a chance at the cup. Nice try though blues.

Tampa Bay Lightning

There was a road trip from Pennsylvania to Tampa Bay over the summer, Gary Roberts, Ryan Malone, Vaclav Prospal, and we are gonna pretend Recchi played for the Pens all last year. Soon we will here the 10 fans at Tampa Bay games chanting "WWGRD!!!"

Washington Capitals

It was a sad goodbye to long time goalie Olaf Kolzig this summer but they welcome Jose Theodore. They pretty much did nothing besides that move. Ovie for 82 goals this year??

Off-Season Review: Part 4

New York Rangers

Welcome Mr Markus Naslund to Broadway, we hope you enjoy your stay which you will because you won't have to deal with that douchebag avery or Jagr so you can have more ice time. Also Dmitri Kalinin (who spells there name like that without an 'i' or 'e') only had to move across the state from Buffalo. Atleast they have a good goalie, make that great goalie.

Philadelphia Flyers

These guys were oftly quiet considering their last off-season however not much work was needed. They got some depth at forward (which they really didnt need with Giroux and JVR coming up fast) and with Darian "The Slug" Hatcher on the IR it frees up a little cap room to make a pickup on D.

Phoenix Coyotes

Added Olli Jokinen and some depth players, but is phoenix really at the stage where they should be added so called depth players? i think not. Answers will come when spring rolls around, and we will see just how far Wayne has brought these dogs.

Pittsburgh Penguins

No one wants to mess with the Pens this year now that they have Satan on their side. But the lost of Gary Roberts has left everyone thinking what would Gary Roberts have done? With the loss of Laraque and Ruutu, Sid the whiny kid is going to have to stick up for himself this year.

San Jose Sharks

They have beefed up their blueline with Rob Blake, Dan Boyle and Brad Lukowich, and by beefed up I mean not size wise but Stanley Cup winning experience, which is the only reason why this makes sense because the sharks have one of the top 3 goalies in the league and he can play 75+ games.

Off-Season Review: Part 3

So where did we leave off .. ah yes with the

Los Angeles Kings

So they lost their most well known and probably best player in Rob Blake to the Sharks, but they have JACK JOHNSON!! (too bad he is out 3-4months) and Kopitar and Frolov but none of them are ready to lead their team to the finals or even the playoffs.

Minnesota Wild

I've always been confused as to what a "Wild" really is and perhaps that is why no one cares about them. Little known fact for everyone, Owen Nolan is still in the league and is playing for the Wild, talk about a BIG off season move.

Nashville Predators

Signed some defence to multiyear deals, got rid of a goalie and some other old guys. Not too much to say about them, maybe they will show up on the radar come trade deadline time.

New Jersey Devils

This off-season was a call back to the devils of the good ol' days when Scott Stevens ruled the blueline at whatever their old rink was. Rolston and Holik were brought back and maybe this will mean lots of use of the new rink come spring time.

New York Islanders

Streit was added from Montreal which should help their goalie for the next 5 billion years if he makes it through the season. Also, they got Doug Weight to play with his old friend Bill Guerin and maybe they can score, but they aren't fooling anyone, they're going nowhere.

Garbage Whoot

While again KP goes ahead and makes a decent and respectable post, I feel the need to partner it with my own garbage. Because, I don't care enough, to inform everyone of every excitable fact, but rather what I find amusing.

Like Satan, and I will refuse to pronounce it properly, but rather as the lord of the underworld. I must admit that I enjoyed him when he played with the Devils (for the rather amusing coincidence it provided) but, I've seen him play with the Pens now, and I'm terribly excited.

I don't really know why he's with hussein either... meh

On a horrid note, the blue line…it really doesn’t exist anymore. We all took a blow when Whitney decided he needed foot surgery . But having to come to terms with the fact that Gonchar is gone, till the playoffs if we're all good children and eat our vegetables and not attack too many whores in dark alleys for their drugs…but I digress. We are having to cope with imagining a defense with out the two stars of the blue line. And it's hard, and as much as LeTang brings LeGame, and Goligoski (man, this kid needs a nick name and fast) is getting there, will they be here in time for le season?

who doesn't love a guy who feeds season tickets to kitties?

Game one, win!

Game two, lose? Yah that sucked…

Powerplay? Worse then the leafs 5 on 3 on a bad night. Yah what was that, like 294747290209345 man advantages and what to show for it…one measly goal.

That makes me depressed and unfunny, I apologize Mike, I shall make something up instead.

Ruutu…Jarkko Ruutu. DEAD TO ME. I morn the loss of a good friend, go burn in hell.

WWGRD Update: I still believe. It's not a question. It's a way of life.

And until he does something douchey to the Pens, he will be my god.

Remember: Death once had a near-Gary experience.

KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY (super up an comer star with an ugly face…probably wouldn't even make the scale.)

I have nothing else to rant on right now, need a couple more games, possibly a few more players to obsess over, and some serious fantasy hockey point scoring to fuel my fingers.

Off-Season Review: Part 2

Colorado Avalanche

ALERT: BEST OFF-SEASON MOVE EVER!!! Avs sign super skilled goalie ANDREW RAYCROFT!!! RAZOR!!! And clearly by super skilled i mean in sucking and letting pucks in.

Columbus Bluejackets

Name 4 players on the Bluejackets. Rick Nash.... yeah that’s what I thought. Maybe you guessed Pascal Leclair who they resigned over the summer and don’t forget they got RJ Umberger last year from the flyers. Anyone smell playoffs? Nope didn’t think so.

Dallas Stars

Dallas picked up some people and lost some probably better people but who really cares about hockey in Texas when there’s Longhorn football to be played.

Detroit Red Wings

They got Marian Hossa, who has now become the most hated person in Pittsburgh, going from the losing team of the finals to the winning team, but just imagine the fun opening night in the joe for the ring and banner ceremony. Nice work Hossa.

Florida Panthers

According to Denny Crane the only panthers left in florida are at the hockey games but last time I saw a game from there it didn’t look like anyone knew this fact. Panthers picked up Bryan McCrap from the Leafs and a valid point was brought up by a friend, “If no one is there to watch you suck, do you still suck?” We will see this season .. or maybe we won’t.

-kp