Our Top ten Favourite Tampa Bay Lightning Things

In anticipation of our awesome trip to Tampa Bay to see a Lightning-Wings game we have compiled ten of our favourite Lightning things.

Also I just looked up how to spell "Lightning" because for some reason I became unsure if there was/should be an "e" in the middle.

So in a slightly organized list, here goes:

10. You can go to a hockey game in a jersey... and short shorts.

We tried finding a picture for this... and decided it was more a user friendly type activity... google at your own risk.

Actually, we realized that we had a "Jersey and Short Shorts" party and it was a great success...

9. The mascot is evil

8. Most teams play soccer to warm-up. Sometimes the Lightning play basketball. We found it amusing.

7. Head coach Guy Boucher looks like Lechiffre from Casion Royale...

Insert Kp's photoshop here...

6. Ryan Malone used to play for the Penguins, then he left his hometown cause he's a greedy bastard. Luckily, it led to this fun video:

5. Martin St. Louis is one of our favourite players, mostly because of this video of shootout failure

4. Bringing a little bit of home to the NHL, you can't deny that Steven Stamkos is good, and he's from Markham... Ps Unionville sucks

3. Stevie Y, enough said

2. Simon Gagne, kp's favourite player

1. Dominic Moore, everyone's favourite player

And why shouldn't he be? If you're reading this and don't know why, you don't belong here

Easily one of the best plays ever, leave it up to Blake to not finish.

...

Insert "That's what she said" comment above

We're going to TAMPA!!!!

suck it.

How come they got fancy jerseys? (Game Recap 5)

Steelers? Really, they couldn't come up with a fun hockey related name, and had to use the name of a NFL team? *Sees jerseys* Hamilton Steelers... Ooooh, that makes more sense...Wait wtf? "Hamilton?" who stole these jersey and brought them to North York?:

Stars vs Steelers

Game Recap:

• We've never played this team before, not interesting but we thought we'd mention it
• Whatshisname scores a nice one mid-way through the first, 1-0
• Steelers come right back and score a quick on, shortest lead ever, 1-1
• Job, job, job
• Convo on the Bench:

"Are those socks orange or red?"

 "They're orange." 

"Are you sure, look at them now, they definitely look red now" 

"Hmmmm." 

"They look like the colour of Humpty Dumpty Ketchup Chips"

• Warrior Chad scores, whooooo, 2-1
• These guys seem pretty aggressive for no good reason, lamesauce
• Damnit, bad guys score, let's blame Ketchup Chips Socks for this one, 2-2
• "Let's get it back!" - Paraphernalia
• Damnit x2, bad guys score again, 3-2
• Excellent hip check by Paraphernalia, apparently the guy hit him on the boards right before... No one remembers seeing that except him, and the ref apparently. They both go off.
• Nothing else remotely exciting happened.
• Final Score: a big piss off, 3-2

Other notes:

We're starting to think we should lose like half the players just so we can get more ice time, three full lines this game.

Dangles played defence again...  Sorry Dangles rocked defence again. She might have also deserved a tripping penalty, but refs seemed to have looked the other way.

3 Stars:

1. Chad, two games two goals, can we say points streak? Hope we didn't jinx it now...
2. Anthony, making some sweet plays along the boards, and blocking shots
3. Goalie, played a good game and plus, he's cute

Healthy Scratches:

Jimmy, tiny human most likely the cause

Goon of the game:

Paraphernalia, hip check was beautiful

Hockey Related Link of the Week:

You know, if you have a spare 17 minutes, and want to get angry...

New Word: 

Mathemagically, 

As in "the Leafs can still mathemagically make the playoffs"

See you in Tampa!

I hate this team. I always feel we have a chance to beat these guys, and they always crush the dream. It helps that they have a couple guys with mad "wheels."

Yah that was lame...

Stars vs Wheels

Game Recap:

• The bad guys score a lot, we really don't like guys rocking red helmets
• Legame?! Is playing centre this game, faceoff central!
• Dangles plays defence... Just like Bates! (There are two ways to play hockey: the Bates Battaglia way, and the wrong way. Yes we are well aware Bates doesn't ACTUALLY play defence, jeez)
• Paraphernalia probably scored, 3-1
• Dangles makes their best player look silly, taking the puck off him mid-dangle, he shows his respect by taking her feet out and helping her into the boards
• Power play is crap...they get a shorty, 4-2
• D Clint tries to introduce a new rule: legal hand passes, refs didn't get the memo...either time he tried it
• Warrior Chad makes us remember why we missed him, goal, 4-2
• Whatshisname had a sweet goal, from an excellent pass from Dangles, roofed it from the faceoff circle with 5 seconds left in the second, 5-3
• F Clint gets us almost back in the game, 6-4
• 2 minutes left and 2 goals to go...
• Final Score: Stars: 4 - Wheels: 6

Other notes:

Huge bench on the Stars, waaaay too many players, someone should get sick or something

Robin is back, huge bonus, he's a great offensive player

No need for the Amber Alert either, Warrior Chad finally remembers he plays hockey...annnd lets us see the new Warrior stick. It is so ridiculously light, it is scary. Legame?! likes it until Warrior Chad lets us know that it's the stick Zetterberg is using now. Stick is no longer cool.

3 Stars:

1. Dangles, for being Bates and de-dangling the other team's offence
2. Whatshisname, epic goal, we keep telling ya, these guys are getting good
3. Legame?!, face-off circle domination...kinda, well definitely stopped their guys a lot more than normal

Healthy Scratches:

New Guy

Goon of the game:

The good red helmet guy on the other team, that was a dirty, dirty slew foot on Dangles

Hockey Related Link of the Week:

Because of Warrior Chad's return, we feel no shame in checking out Warrior's site.

We'd link right to the hockey section, but then you'd be forced to see Zetterberg's mug first thing, and we felt everyone deserved a warning about that... A warning we didn't get mind you.

Bonus Prize:

Because Legame?! was told she had no "swagger" over the weekend by an eight year old.

Yes her ego is severely bruised.

'Til next time goons and gals

WRAP AROUND! (Game Recap 3)

Looking back this was a good game, but immediately after it just hurt a lot

Stars vs Blues
1. Legame?!'s helmet threatens to fall apart
2. A whole bunch of people scored, in no particular order: Gretzky, Paraphernalia, F Clint, New Guy, and The Menace
3. F Clint's goal was a WRAP-AROUND!!!!!!!!ZOMG!!1111!!!111111!!!
4. New Guy's goal also had epic qualities, as after scoring, he tripped over the goalie and started flying. As he was flying he took out the net and landed ungracefully near the boards
5. Legame?! Hits the boards somehow, then takes a stick to tummy next shift, ouch
6. Some weird penalties, one unsportsmanlike for an offside call for the Blues, note to Dangles: don't bang your stick after something bad happens, and one to D Clint for "tripping"
7. Goalie let in one decent goal, and one he really shouldn't have
8. Game, 5-2

Other notes:
Two refs this time, still no time keeper, we just can't shake the feeling that we are getting cheated somewhere around here. Made the penalty time a little more flexible however, but that works both ways.

3 Stars:
1. F Clint, c'mon: WRAP AROUND!
2. New Guy, spectacular "goal celebration"
3. Tank, another solid game

• Goon of the Game:

Ummm, nothing very goon-like happened, sorry to disappoint everyone

• Healthy Scratches:

Jimmy, we hope
Chad, might be Amber Alert time, or maybe he's pulled a Nabokov and has refused to report

• Un-Healthy Scratches:

Slip n' Slide, apparently he got the swine again

• Hockey Related Link of the Week:

and if you want to watch it in French here's the link: Sportchek Commercial French